Publishing this feels really vulnerable, I almost don’t want to because I’m putting my private feelings on display, but I am going to because life and even life with Jesus means we go through pain and suffering and bad times, as well as good. The main difference is that Jesus is our hope, He is real, He loves you and he cries with you or laughs! with you. He gives you life and does life with you.
The other main difference is that if we try to do what the world tells us to do and fix ourselves, for our joy, our happiness to come from within us, it is an impossible feat, it does not last. Jesus is the light that enlightens everyone, he is the way in life, the only way to get what feels impossible. He is why you are here.
I feel in pain still sometimes.
It rips my heart apart and I don’t know why
I don’t know the cause
It immobilises me
It makes me look for distraction
It makes me angry
Then He, my Lord, my everything encircles me
He closes in around me
He puts his arms around me
He loves me
He irons out the creases and tells me to rest
He says “look at me” “keep looking”
I do not give as the world gives
I made you
I knew you
I know you
You are mine.