It’s 1.40 pm and I’m sat in the car at Clumber Park near Worksop. In the car park that over looks the cricket ground. Both kids have fallen asleep on the way and are snoring in the back.
It’s a gorgeous day, the wind is blowing through the windows, the sun is shining, Clumber is beautiful and a lady who’s just got out of the car that pulled up next to us, just told me through the window that we were listening to the same music. That made me cry a little. At Gods goodness.
We’ve had a bit of a dreadful morning. J had a meltdown on the little park opposite our house, I then had a meltdown and everything turned/felt terrible. I didn’t react properly or well to J and then hated myself.
Yet Jesus still loves me.
Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me.
That’s what I was listening to.
Just that word from the lady, that statement that seems like nothing, made me melt at the reality and love of God and the large family he places us/me in.
We got here (Clumber), I still feel raw and upset and like I’m rubbish. But I’m sat in the car, listening to worship music, with our two boys snoring in the back. With the sun glinting on all the leaves of the trees all around and everything is good.
God is good, I’m not crap, I just acted in a bit of a crap way because I was stressed. I belong to God and He will never leave me or let me down.
I am Gods.
Thank you God that your mercies extend to me, that you pick me back up and dust me off, that you love me and forgive me and change me.
(Apparently our church preach was on this subject this week (feeling like you’re crap ) but I haven’t had a chance to listen yet).