Been feeling absolutely &£&));;”!! today, physically and mentally, so thought I’d focus on some nice things:
a doorway that caught my eye in Drumshanbo on our way through..
our boys playing outside ❤️
Snail shells that J has been collecting today.
My evening view from the little wood when I went to get the dog.
The panoramic view from the top of our field, I sat on a big rock and stayed there for ten minutes just looking:
I needed those ten minutes to get a bit of perspective back and just have a little break. (The dog also needed a run.). It is certainly beautiful here. It’s also quite remarkable that we are here at all. #gottabeGod
As the title says, we’re back. We got a sickness bug as soon as we got back unfortunately, but we’re gradually recovering. I haven’t had anything like that for years, the first day, I had to lay flat otherwise I was sick and the boys are still vomiting occasionally. Chris had it last week so he’s been ok this week, but he felt exactly the same last week. So fun!
Other news… Chris got a job doing nights last week, it was part time. He’s now been offered a different job which is full time days, which will suit him and us a lot more than nights, starting next week. Everyone involved has been fab, the place he has just left were amazingly gracious too. Praise God. He’s got a full time job!
House wise – the fascias, soffits and gutters were done yesterday, so that’s another tick off the virtual to do list. Again, it was someone who came recommended by the fella who cleared around our house and he did a brilliant job.
Chris is currently asleep upstairs and I’m downstairs with the boys, watching television. I’ve just finished reading a full book for the first time in years. I used to love reading, in fact I was an avid reader. Not so much in recent years, I remembered how much pleasure I used to get from reading and thought I’d start again. I’ve loved it, Heidi is a beautiful book. It also came about because I was thinking about my dad and one of the big things he gave me was a love of reading, he used to take us to the local library every Saturday morning when we were kids, without fail and to book shops when he or my mum could. It’s a good gift to give, a love of reading, it leads to so much more. It feeds the imagination, it gave me a love of writing, I find it relaxing, it’s quiet, beautiful. I’ve realised I quite like quiet. It is possible too!
The next step for me I think when we are better is to start planting seeds. We’re really looking forward to seeing them sprout and grow. Spring has sprung! It’s legging it down today though, so indoors today.
I’m still in England, staying with family at the moment, going home soon. So the cottage commentary etc will resume at some point soon I would think.
this is me at this moment…
Not much else to say publicly at the moment. Other than God is still in charge and knows what he is doing. However we may feel. He also loves us more than we will ever know whilst still on this earth.
Actually I have got something to say. This belief I have in Jesus, it’s not just a belief and ” ooh isn’t it nice she has something to make her feel better”. It’s true. It’s real. And it’s about time people actually started looking into what they believe and what is true, before it’s too late.
I’m feeling a little delicate at the moment. But I will trust in God and I will see him work in my life and in the lives of those around us. I know this, because he’s already transformed my life over at least the last eleven years.
So back to regular blogging soon my darlings. See you then.
I’m feeling a lot of stuff at the moment. A lot of emotion, a lot of pain in my heart about my dad. This is all I’m willing to put up about it really. I really, really miss him, which seems strange in some ways because I moved to Ireland and hadn’t seen him in person for 2 1/2 months, but I miss him, I feel like part of me is gone somehow. I wish I’d seen him, I wish I’d got to him, I wish…But I spoke to him a day or so before which is good. I can still hear his voice when I think about it. I keep seeing his face in my mind’s eye, hearing his voice, saying hello lovely girl. I think I’m okay and then I feel devastated again. It seems impossible that he is gone. I keep asking for him back.
Here’s to all of you who’ve lost someone, we all do and it hurts so much. I suppose the cliche is that when we love, we will also have pain at some point. It’s all part of the cost of loving someone and I’m not giving up love.
Where to start today? well, basically whilst I was away in England Chris was really busy doing stuff here so I think I’ll stick to that mainly, today. Whilst we were away he almost finished strimming our field:-
He also got a big delivery of plants to plant, even in the pouring rain:
This was the delivery:
So he planted all those up and they are actually doing really, really well. It’s a bit of an experiment this year, to see what thrives and what doesn’t. We’ve chosen most plants that don’t mind acidic soil and a wet climate but with others such as annual flowers that we will soon sow, we may just give them a try and see what happens. We’ve just ordered our seeds from Higgledy Garden, so we’re very excited to get those soon and hopefully start planting.
We came home, this was how I kept two small children occupied on the plane I’m afraid:
This is back at Knock Airport:
It was good to see Chris and drive home:
Since we got home we have also bought a topper and a box for Chris’s tractor and had them delivered:
Had stones cleared out of the field in order to be able to mow it quickly and without damaging the topper:
The windows came whilst I was away and have now been fitted over a period of 5 days. Before:
They’ve done an amazing job, and it is so nice to have wind tight windows and door.
Finally, the littlest really enjoyed a trip we had to Smyths at Sligo retail park, we found it a little stressful, but the kids both loved it!
Just a quick word of advice too, if you hire a car, make sure you check it over when you get it, I didn’t and then realised there was a massive scuff. Thankfully, I told them I thought it was from before and they looked and agreed, but I gather not everybody has such a positive experience. I was really stressed when I got to England and didn’t think, but I will next time as it caused worry at a time when I really didn’t need it, but praise God it was fine.
Ta ra for now.
Post Script! – I forgot to put in that we’ve now applied and been approved to have Irish driving licences. So we’ve given in our UK licences! Apparently as residents, if there was a no deal Brexit our licences would be invalid.
That wasn’t the initial reason – the initial reason was that there seems to be no option to have a UK licence with the DVLA and an Irish address so it just seemed sensible to swap. Then when we went to the office with our application, the no deal thing was explained to us. If you’re just visiting from the UK, there will not be any problems, just if you’re resident.
I’ve been thinking a bit this week about this. It’s my dad dying that made me think about it. Unfortunately.
He had “stuff”. I can remember lovely times with him, but also other times. I can remember him being empathetic and so, so loving and caring, but he could also be incredibly blunt and had a temper (more when he was younger).
But you know what, it’s so easy to criticise others. We need to forgive, move on and love them despite or even because of their foibles or wrongdoings (please be clear though I am not talking about staying around an Abusive person/relationship). We need to actually try to see them, the way God sees them.
The only way we can truly forgive and love is through Jesus. He lived, died and rose from the dead to give us the only means of knowing God and spending eternity in paradise with him. He took our punishment for us.
We are all people, “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”. All. Not some. All.
Jesus came for the sick, not the well, the people who knew or know or will know that they need him. And we all need him because we all have “stuff”.
Now my dad is gone from here. He’s gone. I know about death, I’ve seen death as a nurse, looked after the dying, understood or thought I understood. But I didn’t. I just thought I did.
I can’t say anything to him now, it’s too late. He isn’t here and we would just so love him to still be where we can see him and talk with him, be with him and I wish I could hug him at least one last time. But I can’t.
Love people, in their weaknesses, in their strengths, in their whatever, just love them. Before it’s too late. Acknowledge the bad but focus on the good. We or at least I need to choose love over offence and love over pride.
Life on this earth seems like everything at the time, but it’s actually incredibly short. Make the most of it, prepare yourself for eternity, choose love. Don’t do the YOLO thing, which seems a code for making excuses to live poorly for short term rewards (that aren’t actually rewards).
And please remember, I’m just a person too… a grieving one at the moment, with an opinion, I just happen to know I’m right on this one….