Warning…personal…

I’m feeling a lot of stuff at the moment. A lot of emotion, a lot of pain in my heart about my dad. This is all I’m willing to put up about it really. I really, really miss him, which seems strange in some ways because I moved to Ireland and hadn’t seen him in person for 2 1/2 months, but I miss him, I feel like part of me is gone somehow. I wish I’d seen him, I wish I’d got to him, I wish…But I spoke to him a day or so before which is good. I can still hear his voice when I think about it. I keep seeing his face in my mind’s eye, hearing his voice, saying hello lovely girl. I think I’m okay and then I feel devastated again. It seems impossible that he is gone. I keep asking for him back.

Here’s to all of you who’ve lost someone, we all do and it hurts so much. I suppose the cliche is that when we love, we will also have pain at some point. It’s all part of the cost of loving someone and I’m not giving up love.

We love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19)