Fear or trust?

What does it mean to say God is my protector? How does he protect me? Why shouldn’t I fear? These are questions I’ve been pondering tonight. When I tell my son that God is his protector, what do I mean?

The obvious is that he gives us eternal life, we will be with him when we die, if we come to him through Jesus, this is guaranteed. Then there is the less obvious… these are just my own thoughts, fired out fairly quickly and written down… not a theological debate..

He gives me strength, endurance, I can endure anything, even when I don’t think I can. Loss hurts, it hurts physically, but I can endure it. He is always with me, I am never alone. He never leaves me. He speaks to me, again, even when I don’t think he is. Often through others and normal, everyday occurrences. He gives love and joy and hope even in our darkest hours.

He listens, he has healed me before. He healed me from alcohol dependence and healed my womb. He didn’t heal my dad, that hurt, and still does – I’ve only just realised that on writing this but I do know he does heal despite not doing this time. Not in ways I know about anyway. His ways are not our ways. He understands our hurt. We sometimes have to go through pain. It changes us, it helps us to help others. He isn’t a voyeur, he doesn’t enjoy our pain, but it seems that it is sometimes necessary, he stays with us and holds us, much like a parent. The only thing is, he is capable of changing it, but doesn’t always do so. Why not? I don’t really know. But I know I trust him. I know Stephen in Acts 7 was given the strength and the hope to die and it says that before he was stoned this is what he said – “Look,” he said, “I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.”

God is my hope and my future. Whom then shall I fear? Is this what he is doing? Strengthening my faith? Deepening our relationship? I don’t know, but I know I want to know him better, the God who made the universe, the God who created all of us and everything, the God who is supreme and capable of anything, yet cares for us individually. The Father who had to endure his son dying on the cross. Who felt it because Jesus is also God…?!! Don’t ask me to explain… The dad who understands all pain and suffering because look what he went through!

I do. I want to know him better. Do you?

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A Jesus follower who with her family are attempting (probably comically) to start a different type of life in a totally different place, but starting where we are and rolling with it and seeking God all the way, well trying to... #theshepherdsadventure

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