Vulnerability

Due to circumstances today I’ve ended up telling at least two people that I used to ‘be a drinker’, local people too. That feels so vulnerable and even worse than that I told them that Jesus healed me when He saved me. I can hear it coming out and even to me it sounds mad. But the simple fact is it is true.

Before Jesus, I drank fairly heavily (but not during the day, except sometimes at weekends) – that makes it acceptable? Yes? No! I didn’t have much in the way of limits once I started, once bottles were open, they had to be finished and it affected my life very significantly. I can remember sitting outside Sainsbury’s, willing myself into not going in and buying vodka (and failing). Vodka was the drink of choice (minimal smell) and was consumed quickly and in large quantities.

The drinking ended up being quite hidden and mainly at home. Particularly after having made a fool of myself when out on more occasions than I can count since the age of 14/15 and being practically insensible frequently. It was a shock in my 20’s when ‘friends’ said they didn’t want to go out with me because of the state I got into. It also quite often involved having accidents – falling down stairs, off walls, falling asleep in fields/in snow, in pub toilet cubicles.. being very, very sick and then carrying on, other consequences too that I won’t go into.. I used to laugh it off, but it isn’t funny…you’re very vulnerable in that state and making yourself ill.

When Jesus saved me at the age of 34. I was healed. I can have booze in the house, I can open a bottle and have one drink. It’s fine. And no, it wasn’t will power – I’d tried that – on numerous occasions.

Jesus really is the healer and I put my feelings of vulnerability and fear in his hands and I trust Him with those I’ve told.

God’s path is always the right one…!