Anniversaries..

Anniversaries are funny things aren’t they? No different in some ways to any other day, but they also are. You can remember exactly what happened (or sometimes our own version of it too) and go over it and remember, it can be good or it can be bad, depending on a lot of factors really I think.

It’s a year ago today that my dad died, in the early hours of the morning. I hadn’t got home in time, I went back during the day. It’s funny, I miss my dad, even though we didn’t often talk in depth, or see each other loads, I really, really miss him. From talking to others I know that this isn’t unusual and that it is just painful. So, there it is, death, separation, is painful, so we do it the best way we know how.

The strange thing is that it was a first for me in other ways too. I had to get the plane with the two littleys on my own (they were 1 and 3) and then get to the hire car place with them and get sorted, whilst trying to get to grips in my head with the fact that dad had died.. The airport was fairly easy really, I used a sling most of the time with the littlest and it’s a short flight. It was getting the shuttle bus to the services and waiting for the hire car that was challenging. Controlling a nearly 4 year old by the side of a services/petrol station whilst trying to sort paperwork and wait in turn wasn’t funny. It kept me distracted though. Then I got a car seat that no one knew how to put in and I had to google it, The nearly four year old was climbing all over the car, and when I sat in the drivers seat I realised I didn’t even know how to start it (I’m used to old fashioned keys) that was the last straw, I really wasn’t much of a witness for Christ at that point, I’d reached the end of my tether, but we managed and went on our (not so merry) little way. It was a relief to start driving.

We were there all week and then I returned a couple of weeks later for the funeral, with just the littlest, the then 4 year old stayed with Chris (who got sick whilst we were away unfortunately). So we got the plane again, but to Stansted this time (there were no flights to the one we wanted) and had to take the train journey up to Chesterfield which I think took a few hours. My sister then picked us up. It was actually quite an adventure, despite the sadness which was constantly there. Memories are good though, today I’m remembering him, I’m crying, I’m laughing, I’m listening to music that reminds me of him. My dad. I miss you. I will be saying ‘Slainte’ tonight I think. Just the one though 🙂

Slainte!