Dear Lord.

I wrote this last September when I felt quite low. I didn’t dare publish at the time, but I’ve just read it and want to. I shouldn’t be scared of publishing things. Or of how the journey is going.

When I wrote this I could see that we were surrounded by good things, but I just couldn’t connect. It was like I was far away. And I felt very sad. But I did know God was there. And as I’ve learnt in the last 14 or so years, that is what makes all the difference. So read on! Or not.. up to you really. I haven’t changed anything, it’s just how I wrote it originally (very quickly).

Dear Lord,

I look out of the window and see the flowers swaying in the wind, they’re beautiful, but I don’t seem able to feel that today. I look and I look but it doesn’t mean a deal. Help me Lord Jesus. Help me to see you, give me strength. I want to enjoy where we are and what we’re doing, but I feel unable to do that today. Please help me. I want your will and your will alone in our lives. That’s all I want. your will, your ways, your everything. I want to see you move. I want to see you work your miracles, see people change as they realise you are there and that you’re real and that you love them. Seeing their faces lighting up and becoming free as they get to know you and dancing in your light and your glory. Knowing that you are there through anything and everything. You are the Lord and you reign over all and I will shout and worship and love you always. Jesus, I want to see you work I want to meet with you, I want to just feel your light shining down and surrounding me and seeing you do this for others. You are breath taking. When I experience this, nothing else matters. When I remember this, nothing else matters. When I walk with you like this, nothing else matters. I don’t think you can be too heavenly minded.

You are God. You are Lord. You are King. You are friend. You are everything. You hold everything in your hands

Thankyou.

Cathy.