The way…

I’m a little bit conflicted about writing the following, so I’ll try and keep it brief. I wanted to write about the past week, but the following just keeps going around in my head, so I’m going to get it out. I may do another blog about what is going on on the ‘homestead’. For the homestead peeps. It’s definitely less heavy ha.

I just wanted to remind Christians of something. What I want to say is… your particular part of church, your denomination (or no denomination), the way you worship, the group you mix with, the way you express your faith, what you do……is not (shock, horror) the way, the truth and the life. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the father except through him.

I will repeat it again, your particular church is not the way, the truth and the life. Jesus is. the scripture is not ‘no one comes to the father except through (enter church name), it is: ‘Jesus answered, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6). Thankyou for listening. Bows and exits swiftly, haha.

I feel quite strongly about this, a long time ago, I was of the opinion that no one apart from Christians in my particular part of Christianity were ‘saved’. Then I took part in Street Pastors and swiftly realised that this was complete rubbish. I did literally go in suspiciously looking for error and non Christians, because of the impression I’d been given as a new Christian, and it was wrong. The ‘church’ is the whole church, the church of all believers, not just our own little bits.

I am not aiming this at Catholics like some might think, I’ve seen this attitude in both non Catholics and Catholics. I’ve seen Catholics mock the ‘other side’ as it were, undermining their decision to follow Jesus. They seem to be of the opinion that we ‘protestants’ think it’s ok to pray one prayer and then we’re saved and can go about our lives in much the same way and still have a seat in heaven. Well, that’s true to a certain extent, we, like all Christians, are covered by the blood of Jesus, covered by His righteousness, once we put our trust in Him, so yeah, our past, present and future sins are forgiven. But what you fail to acknowledge or realise is that once Jesus is in you. Once you have genuinely (and that is the key I think, genuineness), put your trust in Jesus and made Him Lord of your life. He makes you new, gives you a new spirit and the law is now written in your spirit/heart rather than just your head. So your life changes. The Holy Spirit speaks into our lives. But please, those who mock, don’t. We love God, we follow God, we make mistakes, we confess to God and repent, and we’re forgiven. We take it seriously (well, I do) and do all things because of the Love of God and the love that this brings out in us.

“I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.” (John 10:28-29).

But also, on the other hand, like I’ve already mentioned, I’ve experienced the other end, where people who actually know very little about Catholicism or other parts of Christianity, develop a ‘them and us’ attitude and decide they know their beliefs because of (quite often anyway) what they’ve been told by other people in their particular church. What I will say about believing Catholics that I have either met or experienced online, is that they are reverent, deep, want to experience everything God has and Jesus is their saviour and they trust everything to Him, including suffering.

Another interesting thing is, I’ve been between worlds for quite a while now, looking and watching both Catholic and non Catholic worlds and what I find interesting is that the non Catholic world over the last two years especially has been preaching more and more on the way we live and the way we honour God with our lives. And the Catholic church seems to be preaching grace more and more often. It’s very, very interesting.

The church is the church and we worship Jesus. He is the saviour of mankind. We are not. I think one of the reasons I feel so strongly about this is that I’ve been like this, I’ve made assumptions on people, I’ve acted as if no one else on earth could possibly know Jesus apart from people in my particular church. And that was wrong. We need to listen to people, not make quick, glib statements and tell them our views.

Anyway, if you’ve made it though all that. You may have figured out that I’m trying to figure some stuff out at the moment. So I’m just trusting God and asking Him ‘what do I do?’ as I saw quoted on Heidi Baker’s facebook page the other day. We can trust Him no matter what, which is always good.

Disclaimer: I am not an expert 😀 (but I do have God’s spirit in me).

God loves ya people!


It’s the Tuesday post! On a Wednesday!

Warning: I do talk about a car accident in this, not in graphic detail, but it is there.

Well it’s been quite a week, but I’m having to decide what to put in here. Do you know, someone said to me not that long ago ‘all will be well in the Lord’ and she’s right. It will. No matter what is going on here and now. All will be well in the Lord. If it isn’t now, it will be one day. And by Lord I mean Jesus. I love these verses: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6).

It’s so good to know that Jesus gives hope. That is what he gives. You know, sometimes I’ve thought of the whole thing in terms of ‘oh no, people who die who don’t know him, won’t be in heaven’. And that, to me, is just absolutely heartbreaking. But I’ve come to realise, yes there is a decision to make to follow Jesus, for Him to be Lord of our lives, but me/us knowing someone’s decision is not the last hope. The last hope is someone crying out to God wherever or in whatever circumstance they’re in. Even at the end of their life, or especially maybe. For God to speak to them too. A thing that gives me hope is that I know a lot of people’s default when terrible things happen is to actually pray. Because the need for God, the knowledge of God (as far as I am concerned) is built into us, whether we are completely aware of this or not. And God is full of mercy too, which is something I think we sometimes forget.

You know, I wondered about God and the afterlife a lot in my life before becoming a christian. From childhood all the way through my adulthood, up to 34, when He drew me to Him permanently. We seek solace and hope in so many ways don’t we? When I was a child, I can remember reading my bible, on my own, in my bedroom. But I didn’t really get it. When I was older, things happened and I got very angry and upset and yelled at God and told people He didn’t exist. But He did and does.

Then other things happened, I had a baby one week before I was 21, I lived with her dad at that time, and then, I think when she was one, there was an accident. Her dad was driving his parents to an airport on the M1 when our car broke down. They pulled up onto the hard shoulder and waited for his brother in law to come and rescue them. From what I remember he pulled up and they started transferring the bags and then a lorry hit the cars on the hard shoulder and left the motorway. When he hit one car, that car hit the other and in that process, my girl’s dad and his parents were seriously injured and his brother in law was killed. I got one of those phone calls in the early hours of the morning from the hospital to come in and my parents came to look after my girl and my dad drove me to the hospital. I’ll never forget the horror of those first few weeks. All our lives were impacted and changed, whether mentally or physically, they changed.

I can remember being terrified in the hospital. I wasn’t a nurse then and knew very little about what was going on. I can remember walking about the corridors literally sobbing and not knowing what to do. There was a lot happening. I won’t go into it all. I can remember being terrified when they said how long he was going to be in hospital, it actually wasn’t as long as they predicted. I can also remember getting a prank phone call from someone who presumably knew him and pretended to be him and pretended to be in pain, telling me I had to come in quickly. I went straight into the hospital and he knew nothing about it. People can be horrible.

I can remember at his brother in laws funeral, feeling absolutely furious because the vicar was talking about him being somewhere ‘better’.. To me, where could be better that at home with his young boy and his wife.. I was only about 22 I think (I apologise if any of this is wrong, it was a long time ago). But I can also remember over the coming months that it was probably one of the first times I contemplated whether there was life after death properly. As in seriously. It is a serious business really. I cried a lot!..

I think we all have these moments, I can remember another time, years after, when I’d broken my heel. I was a single parent by then and felt quite scared and very alone. I’d had surgery on it and had a pot on and all that, which may not sound that serious, but it was to me. I had moments of pure misery, where I recalled all the things I’d done wrong. I even tried to apologise to a couple of people for stuff that was quite a while ago. And what strikes me is it’s so similar to what God does when you know him. He brings you to repentance. But when you know him, you know where to put all this stuff. You bring it to him and if it is necessary, you do make amends. But it is God who forgives.

I am sorry if people don’t like me writing about all this. I’m not after pity, I just love contemplating how God works in people’s lives and how He can work in our lives. He works all things for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purposes (Romans 8:28) and the good news is that I’m not one of the spiritual elite. He’s there for you too. Not just me, or the chosen few. He’s there. This is not to negate the absolute horror of what happened to us or what happens to others, it’s still horrible.

I can remember all too clearly from several times in my life, the horror of life, the horror of what can happen or what has happened. The feeling that you’re in some sort of nightmare from which you cannot escape every time you open your eyes in the morning, every time you lie there in bed unable to sleep, as well as many other situations. But what I can also tell you is that God is there, as Revelation 3:20 says, … I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.

That’s a promise and that is that is that.

God bless you one and all.


An actual Tuesday blog!

Hello! It’s Tuesday and I’m actually here on time. We’re watching the cat in the hat film at this moment, or rather the kids are. We read a Dr Seuss book together and then put the film on. So I thought I’d take a moment to write this. We will do other things later, which, I suppose is part of the beauty of home schooling, you can choose your own timetable.

I’ve been thinking, it’s funny, reading back on old entries here, I used to be so honest about things, about how I was feeling, things that were happening, about God. I’m finding it difficult at the moment deciding what to put in here, I think this may be because I’m feeling quite sad at the moment and still don’t feel right post covid. I don’t want to go overboard and do the too much information thing.. which I can be prone to doing. My head feels really stuffed up and cotton woolly (I’m ok otherwise though). My isolation bit ends today, everyone else seems to have recovered, the youngest is still more sleepy than usual, but other than that they seem ok. Chris is back at work. I’m glad it’s over.

I’m feeling sad because, like I said last week, someone we used to know quite well, or rather my daughter did much more than myself, died. It’s just so sad. There’s nothing else that’s within my realm to say really, I don’t have any other words in relation to it. If you pray, pray for the family and the people who loved him. There seems to have been many. He was only 32. It still gets me that one minute you can be here and alive and full of life as we know it, and then gone. I’m not going to say anything else about it. I don’t think I should or need to at this point. Apart from God is good no matter what things look like, always.

It’s really windy at the moment, we have yet another weather warning for wind and rain. I went up to the chickens earlier and the wind noise in the shed was amazing. I keep seeing adverts for hatching eggs at the moment and keep having to tell myself no! I’m not hatching any more this year, I’ve promised. But I must admit, I saw some chocolate brown coloured ones this morning and nearly lapsed, but decided to stand firm. We have enough hens for this year I think….. and I’d like to be able to go back to England at some point without worrying about chicks being looked after, so I will stand my ground! I think.

I don’t know when we’ll be visiting, but it’s been quite a while, so we’re due to see people I think. The only thing is I’ve got to sort a new passport for one of the boys with a new photo, so I think I need to go to a photo booth with a code that enables you to upload the photo to the online application. I think that will work, even though we’re in Ireland.. I hope so.. otherwise it’ll possibly be a trip to Belfast to the passport office. It will be nice to see England again for a bit. It’s been 2 1/2 years I think since I came back. So yeah, when it happens, it’ll be good.

So, over and out. Have a good one people!


late again..

Hi. Not going to do much of a write today, just wanted to say hi! It’s been quite a week, it was the anniversary of my dad’s death at the end of last week, this week we’ve all come down with ‘rona. All of us, including the kids. Seems it’s a load of rubbish that it doesn’t affect kids much, because they’ve been quite ill really (they’re recovering now though). I didn’t get it until Tuesday and it came on quite quickly. Thankfully, I’d already been shopping on Monday. So we’re doing the isolating thing this week and being ill at home. Someone from Chris’s work rang him yesterday and asked whether we needed anything, which I thought was lovely (unexpected, which made it even more lovely). Then, we found out yesterday that someone we used to know through my daughter had died, which was a massive shock. Then there’s the International stuff, the war etc, so there’s a lot going on.

So, what I’m going to do today is just say, if you’re lonely, frightened, low, depressed, worried, grieving, hopeless or anxious, firstly please know I’m praying for you, I’m going to specifically pray for people in those situations, I’ve experienced those feelings in my life, especially in the past and have an inkling as to what it feels like. and secondly, please know that you have purpose and meaning, no matter how you feel and you are loved more than you could possibly imagine by the God who made you and probably a whole lot of people too. The world needs one of you. It may be a bit of a cliche, but it’s true.