Chickens soon!

It’s strange, writing a blog sometimes. There’s stuff I’d love to write about and can’t or feel I can’t. Mainly for confidentiality reasons… things about what God has done or is doing, personal stuff too. But I can’t, not yet anyway, so that’s that!

Anyway, a few snippets from this week. We’ve mainly been at home because the jeep stopped starting, it’d turn over but not start. Chris and a mechanic he knows were scratching their heads over it but now it’s starting ok, providing the key is turned rapidly in the ignition! Strange…

Also, I sent some parcels from Northern Ireland instead of here this week and the people in question got them the very next day, It takes about three days from here and is more expensive. Strange isn’t it? Strange, but not strange, because Northern Ireland is part of the UK, but, it’s the same island as here, with (I’m only presuming) the same method of getting the post across?? Anyway, I feel slightly guilty about not using the postage system here, but only slightly.

We’ve started getting the chicken run and coop that we brought over sorted and fixed together.

we’ve got to get some cable ties to fix the wire on and we’re waiting for the preservative to dry on the coop before putting that together. I painted it today.

It looks great, like new. We’re looking forward to having chickens again, it’s lovely having your own eggs. I’d quite like ducks too, but we’ll see.

I’d like all sorts if I’m honest… but I can jump into things a bit too quickly if I’m not careful, so chickens first!

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It’s a little bit sad sometimes..

Funny what makes you really miss someone. I’m a serial card collector and for my dad’s birthday I got this but then decided to send another:

I’ve just been rifling through my card collection and it caught my eye. His birthday was only about two weeks before he died and we didn’t realise that was going to happen at that point. I’m still smiling because he’s my dad and I thank God for him, but I really miss him being here. It’s not all consuming, but I miss him.

7 months…

Yes it’s the monthly one.

It’s been an interesting one anyway. Littlest was sick during the night and so I was up a few times and then he chose 5:45 as his get up time, so I’m quite tired. Felt ok ish but now I’m getting emotional..it’s time for bed really.

I’m feeling homesick tonight for my Matlock church, I listened to a podcast earlier from them which was pretty powerful. It was a testimony of what God had done in a couple’s lives over the past year (they’ve been at BSSM – Bethel school of supernatural ministry). It was very open and very honest. It was really good to hear. I knew what I was doing when I was at Matlock, or felt that I did, I don’t here. That’s probably good though, it means I’m submitting to God because I don’t feel I have any other option.

We are part of an Elim church plant called Lakelands and they’re great. They’ve had a team of young people down all week from something called ‘relentless’, doing activities in the community such as a kids club and giving out teas and coffees to late night revellers (and a lot more besides), telling people about and showing people God’s love. We’re happy being part of the group, but it’s all still new. I knew what to expect from Church in the Peak. They’d known me from new to now, they’ve seen what God’s done with me and now this feels very strange sometimes, to be the new people. God is working through it, my security needs to come through Him not anything or anybody else…and it’s exciting too, getting to know new people and anticipating what God might do. Especially in the area in which we live.

Anyway! Happy Sunday! Quite a few of our plants have flowers emerging at the moment. It’s beautiful, there’s roses and cornflowers and calendula. The beds aren’t packed out like I wanted but they will be in the future.

We spent the afternoon on the field, it’s been gorgeous weather today.

Chris has been flying one of his aeroplanes, and looking at the footage on his new camera, a runcam 5, so he’s happy.

Good night.

Cathy.

Vulnerability

Due to circumstances today I’ve ended up telling at least two people that I used to ‘be a drinker’, local people too. That feels so vulnerable and even worse than that I told them that Jesus healed me when He saved me. I can hear it coming out and even to me it sounds mad. But the simple fact is it is true.

Before Jesus, I drank fairly heavily (but not during the day, except sometimes at weekends) – that makes it acceptable? Yes? No! I didn’t have much in the way of limits once I started, once bottles were open, they had to be finished and it affected my life very significantly. I can remember sitting outside Sainsbury’s, willing myself into not going in and buying vodka (and failing). Vodka was the drink of choice (minimal smell) and was consumed quickly and in large quantities.

The drinking ended up being quite hidden and mainly at home. Particularly after having made a fool of myself when out on more occasions than I can count since the age of 14/15 and being practically insensible frequently. It was a shock in my 20’s when ‘friends’ said they didn’t want to go out with me because of the state I got into. It also quite often involved having accidents – falling down stairs, off walls, falling asleep in fields/in snow, in pub toilet cubicles.. being very, very sick and then carrying on, other consequences too that I won’t go into.. I used to laugh it off, but it isn’t funny…you’re very vulnerable in that state and making yourself ill.

When Jesus saved me at the age of 34. I was healed. I can have booze in the house, I can open a bottle and have one drink. It’s fine. And no, it wasn’t will power – I’d tried that – on numerous occasions.

Jesus really is the healer and I put my feelings of vulnerability and fear in his hands and I trust Him with those I’ve told.

God’s path is always the right one…!

Bowed down..

So I’ve just been on my knees weeding and talking to God, asking Him what I should do my next blog on. I don’t want to just ramble on about nothing..

I heard what are the two things you’ve learnt recently. The two main things.

I thought and said it was how love wasn’t what I thought it was and also about how life isn’t about having it easy and doing what we like, despite what the world tells us.

God has answered prayer recently. I’ve had an increased love for reading my bible again, I’d prayed for that. I just hadn’t been able to concentrate and now I can. I then had an experience the other week where because of His presence I literally wanted to just throw myself to the floor at his feet. And yes, He used a statue of Jesus on the cross which is in the grounds of our local Catholic Church whilst I was visiting a bottle bank to give me that experience, and I feel like that’s changed me again.

What has this to do with love? And hardship? It points to His love, the love of the father, wanting the best for his child, His ways being higher than ours and how the most important thing (I think) is to be immersed in Him.

I read an article recently by Desiring God about love and specifically about the sentence..”love others as you love yourself”.. I was also reading this passage before I read the article and felt God change my perception. What changed was that I’ve previously taken this to mean take care of yourself, love yourself, almost pamper yourself and then you can love others, but that is not what it’s about. We do need to look after ourselves, rest, food etc but it’s not a pre-requisite. The pre-requisite is to know God’s love.

To love is to love like God loves us – and He went to the cross (for the Joy set before Him). It’s to think of others first, to treat them how you would like to be treated or better. To truly love someone is to think about their needs and not harming them or luring them into sin in any way, or blindly agreeing with them (or talking about them). To look to God at every step. 1 Corinthians 13 is pretty much the definitive guide too!

I have a children’s book called ‘when I pray for you’ and there’s a part where it says that you want their life to be a prayer. Life to be a prayer! So powerful. I’m not saying I’m any good at it but God changes us. It’s also about doing what is right and good and proper. God doesn’t want us doing things which are bad for us.

We’re made in His image, that struck me last night whilst reading. We are made in the image of God. Isn’t that powerful and amazing. Repeat after me, I am made in God’s image.

But we have to be changed once we come home to Him. He makes us like Jesus. So part of that is He lets us go through hard times, He’s with us every step of the way but we need to learn when to say no, when to say yes, to be conformed to His image whilst being unmistakably and categorically the individuals He has made us to be.

It can be painful saying no to things we want and it sometimes feels like temptation can be too much. Then I’m reminded that Jesus faced every temptation that we are confronted with and that He is our ambassador. He experienced every temptation yet was without sin. And we now have His spirit. Doesn’t seem real sometimes, but it is.

Sorry if any of this doesn’t make sense to you. It’s mainly me making sense of my world..

Ask him if he’s there, ask Him if He’s real. When I wrote my testimony of the day I was saved recently. I was reminded that it wasn’t a short process and I’d been at the end of my tether and had been challenging Him and repeatedly asking Him if He was real and there. I’d been praying the Lord’s Prayer, because it was the only one I knew and asking, asking asking…

That was when everything started looking brighter.

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. (Matthew 7:7).

Project scarecrow.

The birds are having a field day with the area I cleared and where the flower seeds have been scattered so we decided to try a scarecrow!

It’s raining, windy and really dull and I haven’t got a car today, so it was also a good project for those reasons!

To be honest it was a horrible experience in some ways because I had a reaction as soon as I brought the straw into the house and since then have been sneezing, snotty and had a very very itchy nose. It’s almost unbearable… Don’t know if it was the straw or the dust but it was/and is not nice..

I love the finished product though, as a friend has said, he isn’t very scary, but I think he does have style 😎 he’s lounging, because the pole wasn’t long enough.

God stepped down and lifted me up.

I wasn’t going to do another one today but I’ve just realised courtesy of Facebook memories that I was saved by Jesus/born again/gave my life (whatever you want to call it) 11 years ago today.

That got me thinking, I thought I’d go back over what happened that day, as far as I remember – it was 11 years ago…

I’d been to church that morning, since going to my friends daughter’s dedication, I’d been back a few times I think. I’d go to their house first and walk to church with them. I don’t think I would have had the bottle to go otherwise. Going made me very jittery/nervous, but I REALLY wanted to go. As I walked in, or even along the road I would feel my heart hammering.

I remember when I first went and I felt like people could see into the very depths of my soul… like they could see all the filth inside of me, all the bad thoughts, wrong actions, stuff.. I became very, very aware of it all. Of course, they couldn’t, I hadn’t actually met many nicer and more friendly people, but God was making me aware of why I needed Him I think.

Anyway, I’d been and come home and I’d been sinking into depressions quite a lot, I went up to bed for the afternoon trying to hide from everything under the covers…hibernation mode.. when the words to one of the worship songs kept going round and round in my head “God stepped down and lifted me up, God stepped down and lifted me up”. Over and over, I think it’s actually us not me in the song, but it was me he was saving… I kept trying to remember the rest of the words and couldn’t. I then remembered a booklet called ‘why Jesus’ someone at church had given me that morning. I read it, engrossed.. there was a prayer at the end..I said it..then there was the most amazing feeling. I was suddenly filled with energy, it was like I could bounce! I leapt out of my pit and contacted my friend to ask what had happened. She said if you said it and meant it, you’re a Christian! I was like, what? Really?

That was the first day of being saved, my first day of truly being alive, forgiven, made new.

It was amazing.

Thankyou my Jesus.