Birth pains.

Warning – birth story – not graphic but still a birth story. Stop now if you don’t like them.

It’s our littlest one’s birthday soon and it got me thinking about his birth. I don’t often do that but I found it quite nice to look back. Especially as I won’t be doing another one.

There was also a couple of moments of comedy gold in there. The main one being that when the midwives got to me, I was stood frozen (unable to move) in the middle of the living room, sweating cobs (a lot) with my dress up around my waist shouting “help’ to them. And did the almost expected thing of saying I’d changed my mind. The midwife was brilliant, she took hold of me and just said “blow it away, blow that pain away”. I did, and prayed. I was glad they turned up quickly. I nearly left the phone call too late. At that point, Chris wasn’t there, he’d taken J up to his parents house. When he got back I had littlest more or less within ten minutes of him returning.

Earlier on had been beautiful. I was in early labour in the early hours of the morning and I’d been outside in the yard looking up at the stars. I couldn’t go back to bed because every time I laid down next to Chris, some more waters leaked out. I’d also done that thing again of going ‘oh if it’s like this I’ll sail through it’.

Anyway, I had him at home because I had been determined to and that was good but I then had to go in an ambulance to hospital as they said I’d lost a lot of blood (turned out I was ok). I must’ve been high on birth hormones or something because I just thought it was all very exciting. I hadn’t had any drugs so it couldn’t have been that. Mind, I do like a bit of excitement..

And so we had our enigmatic littlest. Who is headstrong but amenable, happy, yet so loud when he is upset. He also loves his food (and J) very much and has totally got the knack now of sinking to the floor like a lead balloon when he doesn’t want picking up or moving. He’s a very funny little boy and we are very thankful for him, as we are for all our children.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Psalm 127:3-5

It didn’t turn out how I planned. But that’s the thing, it didn’t have to. My role was to trust God. To pray and trust myself to the people God had placed around us. Also, because I was rushed off I didn’t have to clean up for once 😂 bonus…


Hello and welcome

Hello again! Just a little update. We are still waiting for the kitchen ceiling to be plastered. We know the plasterer is coming back because he’s left all his stuff here, including his trailer. So it’s just a matter of waiting until he come back from his holiday. Then he’ll hopefully come fairly quickly. That’s one of the things about Ireland. Things don’t always happen at your pace, they happen at other people’s! But he has done a brilliant job on the other rooms and J really likes him, so we’ll let him off.

The front garden’s still doing well despite the pouring rain and the wind. Between these bouts it’s quite nice, it’s just getting out there between downpours that can be tricky, but being on the field in the wind is gorgeous. Chris is actually on there strimming as I write – it’s too wet to take the tractor on at the mo.

Finally! We’ve ordered a poly tunnel! It’s a stronger one than normal, so it should hopefully last quite a bit longer. We’re waiting for it to arrive and then the site will need levelling and the footings sorted. We know someone who’s going to come and do this with a little digger. So that’s exciting and will give us far more room once it’s up to get plants (veg and flowers) going a lot earlier than we did this year) and also in larger quantities.

So that’s it for now. Happy Sunday! May God bless each and every one of you to know the fullness of His love and His provision.

“Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?”

Matthew 6:26

Don’t dilly dally…

I’ve been dallying about, avoiding writing anything, because I’ve been struggling. I didn’t want to be honest or admit it really. I don’t know if I have depression or anxiety again or whether it’s just because of circumstances and it will just get better. But I’m going to write.

I personally think it’s part of my journey. Something I have to go through to change me. I think when things are hard, they do, or rather God changes us through the circumstance and through coming to Him.

I’ve been feeling disconnected, short tempered, always on the verge of tears, when I get asked a question, I feel foggy and like I don’t know what to say. I’ve been thinking about my dad again too. But I am also almost always tired, so that’s probably got a lot to do with it. I also haven’t been eating that healthily or exercising. So that too will play a part… we will see.. and I will start looking after myself a bit more.

We went into our local Catholic Church (in the village) yesterday, just to have a look, as we hadn’t yet been in. It was beautiful. I love Catholic imagery, it evokes a very strong response inside of me. I also love the candles they have, I lit one and prayed. It was all very peaceful and very lovely. I’m glad we went in. Chris and I also felt God’s presence strongly in there. It didn’t surprise me, I thought we would. Which is different to what I would’ve thought a few years ago. God’s been changing me.

Anyway, don’t worry. I didn’t write this for sympathy or for people to get worried or write encouraging comments or anything else. (although feel free to 😆). I wrote it to get it out of me, so it isn’t festering inside me. So there it is…

This is also a very short period in our lives too, just a little snapshot, things always change and move on. Things will get better…there are also a lot of good things in our lives. I see this more and more, noticing little beautiful things in daily life and in people, particularly family – that’s God.

I’m also looking at how I structure our days and how to get a bit more of a routine going. I think that will help too.

‘the light shines in the darkness….’

Bye for now.


Gardens and things…

I find figuring out what to write a bit of a challenge at the moment. There’s been quite a bit going on so focusing can be a challenge and I didn’t want to do ‘today we did this and today we did that’ blog.

So here is a blog saying yesterday we did this and today we did that. (See where we end up from there).

The garden is really coming to life, all of a sudden. The flowers are growing like mad and most are flowering. The blues of the cornflowers are gorgeous. Unfortunately I can’t get a suitable phone picture to actually display their gorgeousness. The part we’ve cultivated is still only a very small part of the whole place really, small steps are very good though..

I have also realised that 6 years ago just before Chris and I got married, I actually knew very little about flowers, especially not cut flowers. As the lady who did our wedding flowers could definitely confirm, I didn’t have a clue! Thankfully she did and actually performed miracles with our flowers, especially as she also had a family to look after at the same time. So Thankyou! Then it was Chris that got into it, I learnt from watching him and this year I’ve grown them and looked after them.

The bees love this cerinthe that we’ve grown and when you’re out in the garden, you can hear a continual buzzing.

‘The earth is the Lords and the fullness thereof…” (psalm 24:1)

It all belongs to Him and I pray for you to see Him through the natural world and the outdoors. When you stand outdoors, wherever it is. When you take that deep breath ‘and relax’, when I used to stand on a beach or curbar edge in Derbyshire… I felt and you feel like that because it is God made, just like you are, He is present everywhere, and He created the heavens and the earth. So beautiful.

‘The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork’ (psalm 19:1).

Day out to Glencar…

So we’ve had a day (well a few hours) out today to Glencar waterfall. It’s about an hour away from us and it’s a beautiful place, there’s mountains and a lake to the side you park on:

and then you cross the road and the waterfall is a very short walk away,

Then there’s the tea shed (A really nice cafe) which is just on the roadside. We went in and got a sandwich, but I had to make a quick exit because littlest was trying to make off with toys they had for sale and then rolling around on the floor when I took them off him. But! They also have a little playground outside so he was then really happy!

They’re really welcoming and it has a really friendly feel. You can also sit outside, and as mentioned before, the view is so good!

I’ve been wanting to go for a while, so that’s one off my list! I think we’ll probably be going back too.

There’s also another waterfall that we could see from the road a little further up called ‘the devils chimney’. You can walk to it, but we didn’t today. We noticed it because the water at the top was actually blowing up into the air.

you can only just vaguely see it in the background. Phones aren’t the best at taking these sort of photos, but that walk is definitely another for the to do list.

This was on the way home through Manorhamilton:

There was a pub further up with really bright murals on the wall too, but I didn’t manage to get that one. We were driving too fast 😊 (I wasn’t driving, just in case you were wondering).

Well I’ve been up a while…

And I was really grumpy until I’d listened to some worship. I’ve just downloaded a Sarah Kroger album (your time) and it is beautiful.

I’m now sat on the living room floor with J (4 year old) because there’s no furniture in here. The plasterer got held up yesterday and us now coming on Monday. It’s actually nicer than I expected just sat on the floor. At least Chris got the insulation up in time for the plasterer. It currently looks like this:

and this is the floor view:

Ha. Some things never change.

The rest of the house is a right mess to be honest, belongings all over the place… but I’m reassuring myself that it’s temporary!

Chris also decided to wire up the outside light himself last night. The electrician definitely isn’t coming…it’s been months… and the lamp is working! One thing I can say of Chris, he’s very thorough and exact, so I don’t have a problem trusting him to do things like that.

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path”.. (psalm 119:105).

Isn’t that beautiful, we can trust God at all times and he lights the way..

Especially, (in my case anyway), when it all feels a bit blurry. I get clarity and vision and focus again by coming to Him, sitting with Him and reading my bible.

All is well …


I’ve been feeling weird about blogging recently. A little voice saying ‘why are YOU blogging?’ ‘What have YOU got to say?’. And another more valid question of ‘why are you doing this blog?’. Is it for attention? What is it for? What do YOU know???

I’ve said it before but again! It’s because I want to, it’s because I want to keep certain people updated, to have a record of progress, it’s because it’s almost like talking, it’s an outlet, but most of all, it’s about Jesus, whether I mention Him or not. However I’ve been, whatever I’ve done, no matter where I’m at, He is with me. I am His child. He is present. He is all powerful.

I was despicable before I knew Him, I was just wrong and He loved me into knowing Him and saved my sanity and my life. I owe Him everything.

Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually! (Psalm 105:4)

His presence is the best thing ever and I will continually seek it. I can’t really do life without that to be honest. Neither would I now want to.