Category: child rearing

Social Media is great…sometimes….but…

I’ve deleted facebook and messenger off the old phone and Ipad, I’ve been paying far, far too much attention to it during the day and I’ve decided to try just using the laptop for it and that is that.

It is all very useful and sometimes interesting, but I have decided to limit my time on them and try to get away from the got to deal with messages etc at once. When there actually is no need for it.

I want to be with my children during the day, to enjoy being with them, to be present, to be attentive, not distracted and so I am eliminating certain distractions. They are only this age once, and the time goes so, so fast. I know that because I already have one girl who is now grown up and in her early twenties. I still wonder where that time went and I sometimes regret working so much whilst she was young. However, regrets do nothing unless you learn from them, so I am attempting to learn from them.

I also don’t want my children having a mum who is constantly looking at her phone, I want them to have a good upbringing with good memories and not one where their parents were constantly ignoring them because social media was so much more important than that moment with them.

I’m still going to do this..I love doing this…I love writing and speaking to people on here, but my presence will just be a little more limited. Probably first thing and then maybe last thing. During the day I am going to attempt to stay off the social media platform. I’ve got into the rubbish habit of checking it and rechecking and it does not do me or my family any good.

I want to spend my time as well as I can and my family come first after God.

“…yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” (James 4:14)

Yes, I want to spend it well. I will make mistakes, I make many, but you know what, I am made for God and by God and I intend to do what I am here to do. Whatever that may be, and at the moment, that is being a wife and a mother.

This is purely reflective writing and is not intended as a judgement piece on anyone.

IMG_5679

Also, I used to read books, I used to draw, I used to play music and my flute. Where has all that gone? Gone in favour of staring at a screen? I don’t think so. Time to reinstate what is good I think. Time to have fun too!

See you all later!

 

Quote of the week

Quote of the week is when I was walking along our road with the three year old a couple of days ago and he noticed it was “broken”.

J – “daddy will fix it”

Me – “He will, will he? it that what daddy does?”

J – “Yes, he fixes everything, daddy fixes aeroplanes, daddy fixes cars, daddy fixes roads, daddy fixes everything”.

Me – What do I do J?

J – “You watch butterflies”.

About right, in a lot of ways.

There’s something that is really right about that statement… I quite like that I watch butterflies and that his daddy fixes things.

image

It reminded me of a picture we were given by a friend before we got married. When I say picture, I don’t mean a picture you hang on a wall. I mean a picture God gives you to tell you or someone else something.

The picture was an aerial view of a grass field, Chris was on one half, mowing in lovely straight lines, making a lovely job, I was on the other half with my lawnmower twirling round making circles/wavy lines etc. But together it made a lovely picture, particularly when looked at from above. It was from God, to say, that neither one of us is wrong in how we are, we compliment each other and are made differently and together we make a lovely picture. (this is done from memory, forgive me AI if any part of it is slightly not right).

It has been SO hard for both of us, doing that, just accepting the other and that I’m not the one who is right or he isn’t the one who is right. I NEVER thought it/marriage would be so difficult. (long time marrieds keep your smirks to yourselves). But we keep going and we keep learning and we keep loving and I often think of the above picture.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. (Mark 10:7-9)

 

 

 

Things adults say..

Just for the laugh I thought I would spend a day or so writing down the things we say (or mainly I say) to our children…so I did.  Although it has dawned on me that the things may just be negative as in “don’t do that”. (I do spend a lot of my day telling them good things too).

It has also dawned on me that it would be far more entertaining to write down some of the stuff J (Mr Toddler) says. It’s brilliant. He was talking about Jesus having a cup of tea and a fruit shoot earlier and then that the four cotton buds he had planted at the allotment would grow and become a plum tree. Love him. He also said today that his favourite flowers are purple ones because they grow in the dark.

Chris spoke to our Shetland solicitors today, apparently they have just received a load of paperwork they have to go through and they are then going to send us some paperwork to peruse! So it is apparently all in motion!

IMG_0280

A day in the life

“stop hitting your brother” (classic)

Calm down! (statement guaranteed to never calm anyone down)

Put it down, don’t wave it around…

Sit closer to the table!

Elbow!

Knee!

Not against the telly! You’ll break it if you do that!

Don’t stand on my foot please

Come away from the television

Come awaaaay from the television

Do not put your feet in his face

Don’t push him

Stop sitting on him

Stop!

Stop doing that!

Why are you crying?

What’s wrong?

Do you want the toilet? (repeated 50 times daily, I must be really irritating)

Pancakes? (positive one)

Put it (sweets/batteries/food off floor that someone else has left/50th piece of fruit in a day/food in shop) down

she’s gone to fetch your bun (He was crying because he thought it had disappeared – aw)

Don’t let the dog out

Stay in the yard!

Try not to kick me

Stand still!

That is not a drum, put it down (the PS3), get off it please

No, you can’t have another tube of smarties

No, we don’t have lollies for breakfast

Don’t stamp on your brother, aww that’s nice, yes be nice…stop treading on his hand!!

He is not a naughty baby!

You have to sleep in your own bed

Stay in the garden

Noooo, stop, that is not edible

Do not hurt your brother – I know he is wrecking your tower – I’m sorry

pleeeeasse sit still so we can get your shoes and socks on, it’s already taken an hour to try to get out of the door

Don’t tread in the poo (at least it isn’t don’t eat the poo)

Don’t lick the table/wall/window/mirror

Stop pulling the flowers up – aw is that for me, thank you!

Don’t wave that around in here, go outside (dog ball throwing thing)

Hold on to the pushchair, this road’s busy…Hold on to the pushchair…HOLD ON TO THE PUSHCHAIR

Yes you can walk on the wall

Listen! look at me… Listen!

I love you. You are amazing.

IMG_0288

 

 

 

 

Roots…

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. (Psalm 19:14)

i hate nothing about you with red heart light
Photo by Designecologist on Pexels.com

I’ve been thinking about this line, for the last couple of days.  When I say thinking, I mean it has just been coming back to me in my quiet times and has been at the back of my mind.

I can be very emotional  and when something upsets me or makes me angry, hurt just pours out of my mouth and then leaves me speechless and full of remorse afterwards for a while…well almost speechless…. Or! I clam up and store it all up and then explode at a later time. As moving house is supposedly one of the most stressful times in your life I suppose this is an apt post.

I really want to change my reactions, I’ve been thinking about how the only way this can change is to think about what actually upset me and deal with that (the root of the matter), because usually it is not actually the action or even words of the other, it is usually an association with some other event or hurt I have experienced, or even just plain selfishness when someone is stopping me doing something I want to do or even just tiredness! I also need the continual filling of the Holy Spirit and to rely on him, when I say also, I mean that needs to come first. I also need to be able to talk about whatever it is that is wrong calmly.

On our own we are not accepted by God, we have to come to him through Jesus and then we become fragrant and we live with God and through God.  But there is still stuff we need to deal with.  I love God, I need God. He is not a crutch as I used to think about Christians, He is real and the reason I need him is because we are made for him and by him. When we don’t know him we try and fill our lives with other things. Now I know Him I just want to be filled with Him and I become aware of my sin. Pouring out words indiscriminately is sin. But it hurts so much! when I feel unappreciated, unloved, tired, unfairly accused, put upon, completely confused with everything I feel I need to do.

All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth, like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth.

 By oppression and judgment he was taken away; and as for his generation, who considered that he was cut off out of the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people? (Isaiah 53:6-8)

This is about Jesus and was written (prophesied) years before he lived and was crucified. He did not say a word despite being accused, oppressed and afflicted. He did not need or have to defend himself. He also did this for me so he became my righteousness. I do not need to defend myself, God is my defence. If I am guilty I need to say so, if I am not I do not need to say anything or even feel hurt. I do pray that God will give me the compassion to actually feel for the other person in this circumstance.

None of the previously mentioned upsets are reasons for not being kind. So I think I need to rethink. Stop doing things because I feel I have to and just enjoy being with my kids and husband. Meditating on scriptures and spending time with God is a must. So is accepting that I will sometimes get upset and hurt, I just want to sort out my reaction to it. My reaction is my responsibility, I want to operate from love not hurt or frustration.

I love my children, but I make so many mistakes and so often feel as though I’m getting it completely wrong. I read a post yesterday that I need to think about, it’s about how God leads those with young with gentleness. That what he want from you when you’re in this period of your life is gentleness. I thought it was a lovely post, I cannot find it again now for the life of me but when I do I will put a link up. It is normal stuff about playing with them/just being with them, going for general tidiness rather than sterility (as if) about meditating on scripture and just having this as a gentle time in your life, a time with them. As a person who tends to put extra stresses on herself, worry that she is not doing a good enough job and then tries harder (resulting in more anxiety) but then also get distracted by unimportant stuff this really spoke.

He will tend his flock like a shepherd;
    he will gather the lambs in his arms;
he will carry them in his bosom,
    and gently lead those that are with young. (Isaiah 40:11)

I love God, he really does give life.

Focusing on the good…

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Phillipians 4:6-8)

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2)

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:17-18)

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.  Do not quench the Spirit.  Do not despise prophecies, but test everything; hold fast what is good.  Abstain from every form of evil. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-22)

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. (Psalm 19:14)

I just want to focus on the good stuff today and be thankful.

 

Northumberland (No 1 off bucket list)

We have been up for a couple of days (Chris and I and the boys).  I have been coming up to Northumberland for years, first with my family (mum and dad and sister), then with my eldest daughter – mainly camping then, because it was affordable and fun. Now with Chris and the boys. Northumberland seems to be a bit addictive. I just love the coast, it is wild, stretches for miles and it is windy and amazing. No built up promenades here! You can also still take your dog on the beach no matter what time of year it is.

Our dog met the sea for the first time today, he wasn’t that keen, he had a few snaps at the waves as they were coming in and ran madly about on a long lead.  He was much better when we started throwing a stick in, he then started running in and out without much problem. For the first time I can remember though, the beach we were on was busy with loads of people on and other dogs, so there was too much noise and disturbance for him really, I think it made him a bit anxious.

It was a very mixed day today, funny how we have all these expectations and plans and it never turns out how we think. It was good but also bad, I was absolutely shattered because we didn’t get here until late last night and then the boys wouldn’t go to bed because it was exciting and then they got up early. So I’ve been quite moody….. but! we went to the beach AND we went for icecream, J loved that. I love the beach, I love the smell, the sea, rocks, sitting on the sand, just breathing it all in and being there. Also got some paddling in, which was great. The baby loved the sea too, kicking and splashing like mad. I think he is going to be quite adventurous.

The journey up last night was something else, the M1 was heaving, then there were the most torrential downpours and lightning, huge flashes and forked lightning too, which made the sky look purpley/pink. We then had to stop to feed the baby (he was crying and crying) and Chris went for a little wander and found a man who needed a jump start, so we drove over to do that, (he ended up having a bump start). It perhaps doesn’t sound like the most ideal situation but it was strangely peaceful. J was asleep in the back, I was feeding the baby in the dark in the front and Chris was outside helping the people who had broken down. The darkness and quietness made it easy to focus on the baby and it was lovely, a bit of quiet time with him. I could also look at Chris from a distance as he was talking to this man and his family and helping them. It sometimes helps to look from a distance. He was all lit up. He really likes helping people, I don’t think I really got that before but I saw it in his face last night. Not for himself, just because he likes helping people, because that is how God has made him.

Then after we had got there and settled (after midnight), we lost the dog. I didn’t check the gate on the balcony when I let him out and he went for a walk on his own. I searched around the campsite on foot, then got back in with the full intention of taking the car out to search for him. When I opened the door to go back out to the car, he appeared at the door, soaking wet from the rain but perfectly alright. We were so glad, and we were so relieved he came back. He has never been there before. I had been praying and praying as I was walking around, calling and whistling him and I fully believe it was God who brought him back and I’m very glad he did.

 

IMG_5493

Not even a ripple

That’s how Chris described the moving situation this week. Nothing, nothing at all. I’ve heard this is normal but it is frustrating. If we actually knew whether an offer accepted in principle was just an offer accepted or not, it would be fine…I’m guessing (as someone kindly commented earlier in the week) we’ll suddenly hear from everyone at some point and it will all go through.

IMG_5568

This photo was taken when we went to Carsington Water this week. It was a beautiful day. It was the day when I felt stressy and serious and we went out. We were VERY hot but it was a good day. We took a picnic again, my boy loves his picnics and we built things out of big stones and fended off geese.

Geese that seemed fierce but then weren’t
This was the nest we made for the geese

So I guess we just keep on looking up at our maker and seeking him and keep on keeping on. I love Psalm 27, I read it a lot when I was first saved. It is very calming and beautiful. You have said, “Seek my face.”My heart says to you, “Your face, Lord, do I seek. Always Lord, always.

As a side note I’m quite interested in keeping some geese, I will have to read more about them and what types there are. I think they are good for field rotation with the sheep and keeping the worm count down too. Will get back to you when I’ve read more!

 

 

My brain is tired today…

No news on the move at the mo, I think it is in the middle stage of not much seeming to be happening, but it is. Waiting! again! It will be worth it though. I want to make the most of our time every day though. I don’t always, but I want to! This was part of the weekend:

 

My first ever quiche! had a bit of a soggy bottom haha but it was nice, I used to call it “christian food” years ago, because everything you turned up to had quiche, But I’ve since come to really like it 😀

Things feel stressful at the moment and quite serious quite a lot of the time so I just want to concentrate on good today. I took the boys and dog to a reservoir called Linacre on Saturday and we went back again on Sunday afternoon with Chris, it was lovely.  Even better to Mr Toddler (and me) because there is an ice cream van in the car park.  Chris took me to Linacre for our second ever date. I can remember it being a really bright, sunny day despite it being March. He was just the same then, I am one for standing and looking and inhaling and taking it all in, soaking it up. Staying in one place for a while, exploring, chatting or just looking. Chris is all action, lets be off then, lets be doing things. Both have good points and bad points, we both have to compromise sometimes.

The easiest way of taking the boys and the dog for a walk  is to carry the baby on my back. It gets a bit hot sometimes but I love it, he is so close. I think he loves it too, he sits there, looking around at everything, taking it all in.

It won’t be long until he is walking. I love this stage, where you can still sit with them, inhaling their baby goodness. They still sit with you and cuddle. It is still good when they get older, but not as easy. (to me, anyway).

Anyway, I’m really tired today, both boys ended up in bed with me, which is nice but not particularly comfortable, so we are going to wait until the baby wakes from his nap and then go out somewhere. Preferably in the country.

Hopefully have more news on the move soon!

See ya.

Cathy

 

 

 

 

I made jam!

idolise me! (Joke, really, joke…)

 

I did though! really!

It’s Friday and time for a thankful post. I’ve been thinking a lot recently about being thankful and challenging the opposite of this, which I think often takes the form of bitterness and resentment. I feel that the scripture about looking at whatever is excellent, has been given me and it keeps coming up in my thoughts. I said before, I think it was in my ode to Chris, that God tells us to look for the excellence and anything worthy of praise.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

I also think of this verse a lot at the moment:

Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world,

This is in Phillipians 2, and it says directly before this that ‘it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure’.

So, I am asking the Holy Spirit to help me in this, well lead me really.

The verse I’ve quoted before out of John in which Jesus says “I do not give as the world gives…” is a favourite of mine.

I get angry and frustrated because we live in such a beautiful place, but life can be so confusing. We laugh at purity and goodness, relegate relationships, justify behaviour in any way we can and put others down because of our own selfish motives. Jesus knows and sees all of this and still says “I love you, invite me in…” and you know what? he then changes us.

What no eye has seen, nor ear heard,
    nor the heart of man imagined,
what God has prepared for those who love him (1 Corinthians 2:9)

The world has us believe many things and puts many burdens on us. Jesus takes our burdens from us and gives us peace and freedom. “should we choose to accept it…”

I may be wrong but I think most of us want true love and true acceptance and true peace and the only, the only! place this is found is in Jesus Christ.

Ask him.

Today, I am thankful.

 

 

Blogs and blockages :D (this is about poo)

This is a lighthearted post and the title actually came from my friend, thank you for being you and not chucking us out 😀

As I said in yesterday’s blog, we went to Ashbourne on Saturday to visit the sheep fair.  Whilst we were there we parked on a friend’s drive whilst we walked down into the town.  When we got back, they invited us in for a drink and a chat…. which was lovely.  We know this couple fairly well, I’ve known them for the last decade and they’ve been my spiritual parents really in our church. So we are fairly relaxed around them…

However, my toddler has had a bit of regression regarding toilet training recently, in particular in relation to poo and whilst we were there I had to take him to clean him up.  It was a good one, literally in his shoes…So I cleaned him up, sent him back out with clean underwear etc etc, whilst muttering under my breath.  Then, I decided it would be a good idea to rinse his pants under the tap (in my defence, I had got rid of the excess poo).  It wasn’t a good idea. It was one of those moments when you really wish you’d done it differently. It was so bad it was really funny. The sink blocked up and filled with brown water. IN MY FRIEND’s HOUSE. I was like, no, no, no, no, nooooooo. Then tried to ladle out the excess with a plastic soap bottle that hardly had any left in it, because that was all I had. I ladled it out and put it down the toilet and tried in vain to unblock the sink.  I ended up wandering out and saying nonchalently “you haven’t got a sink plunger have you?”

It was sort of horrific but also sort of the most funny, seriousness breaking, side splitting brilliant moments.  I haven’t actually laughed like that or found something so funny in so long. Talk about humbling yourself, I blocked my friend’s sink with my toddler’s poo. There you have it. It still makes me giggle when I think about it. Sorry.

and kudos to them for sorting it out without moaning (at least to me)….I think they thought it was funny…I think…

img_1250.jpg

Our sincerest apologies but oh I haven’t laughed so much in ages.

A joyful heart is good medicine,
    but a crushed spirit dries up the bones (proverbs 17:22 ESV)