Because this is just a flying post and because I don’t seem to have many photo’s of me, here is me:
Baby Shepherd has decided he needs me all the time at the moment. Which is fine with me. He’s my last baby and therefore if he wants constant cuddles, yes please.
And yes, I am grey, I died my hair for years from about the age of 18 if not before, because I went grey really young. (If you look at the wedding photo’s in the previous posts my hair is really dark.) As did my mum and my gran. My mum was on trend way before her time and never dyed her hair, which I think is brilliant. It took Chris encouraging me for me to actually take the plunge. He was really really for it and says he prefers it now. I’d got to the point where I was absolutely sick and tired of dying it every month and hated the smell and everything about it. Turns out, grey quite suits me and weirdly people remember me too, far more now than before. It took a bit of getting used to, especially as you get a lot of veiled looks from people and second glances (but not of the sort I used to be used to :o)
Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.(Proverbs 16:1)
I’d love to take the credit for this righteous life myself or even say yes! that’s why!, but unfortunately, or actually fortunately, I can’t, it is down to Je-sus (said like a football supporter). Sorry if you think that is disrespectful. It isn’t. I think we worry far too much about appearance and respectability when worshipping our one and only. It is probably not really obvious how I’m saying it unless you know me quite well. You are the one and only Jesus, nobody I’d rather be me for…
See you later. It’s late, I start going a bit hyper at this time…time to sleep…
I think of all the interests Chris has had (and he has had many), this is my favourite, running closely with the allotment. He started growing cut flowers a few years ago, and we now always have an enormous patch of self seeded corncockle and this year some calendula and fox gloves. We also grow lavender and some daisies, which come every year and also have cosmos, carnations and achillea growing. My favourites were the Sweet Williams Chris grew when he did biennials one year. They were gorgeous, I think they are my favourites, although it is hard to choose.
Through this hobby we discovered Higgledy Garden. (we didn’t literally discover him, we found him on the internet…) Who is hilarious, has excellent quality seeds, is a mine of information and always includes a hand written letter (he also has lovely handwriting :D). He’s really interesting, he currently lives on a canal boat with his dog. If you’re going to buy seeds he is definitely worth taking a look at.
If we are to grow flowers (and produce fruit and veg) in the North of Scotland, we will probably have to buy a polycrub. They’re like a really really tough polytunnel, made to withstand the winds I think. They make them out of recycled salmon pipe and are based in Shetland, which will be handy if we move there!
I feel sad today, for a reason, a valid reason, but still sad, and it affects me with people close to me if I’m not careful so I need to watch myself because I can start taking it out in an angry way on them. And that’s not acceptable. Although it’s okay to be sad, I need to process it properly and also be loving. Emotions are normal, I sometimes think I need to stop them I think, but no, just handle them in a good way (whatever that is, I’m still learning). I read a while ago that children need you to be a wall, so they run into you and you don’t move. I try, but don’t always manage it!
Anyway, I am also happy, just because I’m here and have a family and friends and more than that, God. He is my loving, beautiful father in heaven who is always here and is in charge. No matter how much we think we are in charge…we aren’t. Although we do have a big role to play in partnering with God too, He rules. HE IS THE LIGHT WHO SHINES IN THE DARKNESS, AND THE DARKNESS HAS NOT OVERCOME IT. and will NEVER overcome it. (Sorry about the shouting).
In other news…although until Chris has viewed the Croft we won’t know if it is right for us, it feels as though we are just waiting now. We need to know costs, so I’m waiting for a quote from a moving company in Shetland, because if we can’t afford them, we will have to sell most of our stuff and go up in a van. I’m also waiting for a Shetland solicitor to quote us. Because we are looking to buy in Scotland we need an English solicitor for the selling and a Scottish solicitor for the buying. The system is also different in Scotland, the solicitor is usually the one who puts the offers in for you, and it is often sealed bids with details such as when you expect to move, how you are paying etc. It is usually offers over too, rather than offers around, I think if you offered what we offer in this country, 20/30,000 less than the asking price, you’d get laughed out. I actually think their system is really good. If there is more than one person interested a closing date is set and sealed offers go in for the owners to look at. It seems really fair. Each home has also got a home buyers report already done, so that is really good.
I have to admit I am a very impulsive person, and I keep having to check myself, because I keep thinking just put an offer in!! Although we’ve never been and haven’t seen it. So, Chris and his dad are off up there next week and we will know then. Chris was on his way home from work the other day and the registration plate in front of him spelt out the name of the island we are interested in moving to. (which was interesting, because that was similar to the ‘fleece’ I laid out for God, when I was asking whether it was right to go). Guess we will know next week. That’s also providing our survey on this house goes well and the sale goes through. It’s in God’s hands (said in an American accent).
When we leave, one of the reasons I will be sad to go will be to leave our church. (CITP) They are nuts in the best possible way (forgive me, (you have to). God always puts together a load of people who are completely different from one another and would never normally spend time with each other and makes them family together.
This is them at our wedding (also with our own family, who are also pretty cool, my mum and dad are standing next to me):
These are our elders at the recent catalyst festival (click on the following link for YouTube video), (CITP elders) Note the use of team work and willingness to take instruction from the younger members. Notice the rhythm and dance moves!!! Notice the resignation that this is what is required of them and their grace as they get their groove on 😬. Also notice that at least one of them is really enjoying it! They are brilliant.
Seriously, church is awesome, because of Jesus. I know that this is not everybody’s experience of church and I’m really really sorry if you have had bad experiences but church is meant to be goooooood. It will always be hard work in some way because there’s so many people thrown together, but take it from me, it’s worth it. When I’m getting fed up I always have to remind myself that we’re all human, only Jesus is perfect and through Him we can always check ourselves, forgive if necessary and move on! Also, it’s family and families are hard work! But definitely worthwhile. This family have been there for me and plenty of others through thick and thin. They do awesome work in the community and with our new church building they will be able to do a whole lot more. They don’t just talk the talk, they walk the walk too.
Did you know that the church is the people, not the building? That Jesus gave himself up for her (the church, his people) so she may be holy and without blemish (that’s us)? That He nourishes and cherishes the church? (Again, us) (Ephesians 5:25-29). And wants to nourish and cherish you? My perception of it used to be so wrong it was unreal. I thought all church people were up themselves, self righteous a..holes. Now look at me! Look at where God’s put us! In fact, don’t look at me, look at God!
Well that was nearly 5 years ago, but you get the picture!
Thank you God for loving me, thank you God for loving me..and you…
So we have today accepted an offer on our home. It’s a cash offer too so it could potentially go through quite quickly providing no major problems pop up along the way..REALLY hoping this. Please may there be nothing major…
Excited for the future and our journey and what God has in store and also know it’s time to move on. But this has also been my home for the past 13 years, the first 8 were just me and my daughter doing life together. It was our safe place, we’d moved around quite a few different houses and this was the one Tasha said she didn’t want to leave. When I first started nursing, I used to do a week of nights once a month and so she had to virtually live somewhere else for a week every month and she started to hate it. She wanted some stability I think. So we moved here when she was ten and I went on the district rather than doing hospital nursing. It seems so long ago, but it’s not really. So much has changed in that time. I made so many mistakes, we had some rough times but we also had some lovely times. I really love my daughter, she lives in London now and I am very proud of her. She cares about justice, she always has, since being a little girl. She’s incredibly talented and vulnerable and raw.
I was saved in this house, when I was 34, ten years ago. So I was healed from alcoholism and smoking here, amongst other things, by Jesus.
Tasha grew up here, she worked hard and worried me by going out on midnight walks when she was an older teenager. I confused Tasha here by being saved, she got good marks despite having pink hair (and me being saved 😁) and went to Uni in London to study Art, a month before Chris and I got married. She did amazingly well at uni and is now doing her masters.
I was in terrible debt here, debt which got paid off thanks to CAP. CAP do amazing work. The debt was paid off about a month or so before getting married. That was a prayer answered, we did not want to go into marriage in debt and we didn’t.
Chris and I met whilst I was here and got married, we didn’t move in together until after we were married. That is a miracle in itself given our backgrounds. God changes us so much and so much for the better. He makes us new.
We had a miscarriage here, a miscarriage I didn’t understand, I felt in full faith for God to restore the beating heart in my womb, for it to show up on the second scan a week after losing the baby. But he didn’t. But he did heal me, heal my womb and give us more babies.
I gave up my nursing here, I gave it up to look after my babies, Because being there with them and for them is really important to me, especially after doing my nurse training whilst Tasha was little, I later felt like her childhood was far too rushed – got to get here, got to get there. But I also gave it up because although I loved actual nursing, I was sick of the rubbish associated with it and burnt out. I didn’t want to go back but am now starting to feel almost ready… Not quite though… It’s a while before Ira goes to school.
I gave birth to my first boy at home by accident because I didn’t get to the hospital in time. We didn’t even get out of the front door. It was great and very very special. We got to stay at home. (I say by accident, I originally wanted a home birth and was persuaded otherwise, so thanks God for giving us what we had asked for 🙂 )
I gave birth to my second boy here, in a planned home birth. Not one the midwives were keen on because of my age and because they thought he was a big baby. It was fast and he was born well but I worried the neighbours because i was taken into hospital in an ambulance for monitoring because of blood loss. It was very exciting for me – I think I was high on hormones.
We got an allotment here, which was a God thing… I asked God what I should do and He said get an allotment, we got our chickens here – which I have loved.
So!! You get the picture… A lot of stuff has happened, much much more than I’ve put here…God has done absolutely loads of good stuff in my/our lives. Rubbish has also happened but that is not of God. I have screamed at Him here, cried with Him, begged Him for help here, laughed, worshipped, got rid of demons here. Came to life here!!!! Learnt from Him (or not) here.
But it is time to leave. It’s time for us to bless this place and move on. Memories intact. And all our family will always have a place with us wherever we live. That includes George, Chris’ eldest son as well as Tash. Love you Tash.
sorry/not sorry. Love these pictures. Byeeeeeeeeee for now.