Flower Power!

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I think of all the interests Chris has had (and he has had many), this is my favourite, running closely with the allotment. He started growing cut flowers a few years ago, and we now always have an enormous patch of self seeded corncockle and this year some calendula and fox gloves. We also grow lavender and some daisies, which come every year and also have cosmos, carnations and achillea growing. My favourites were the Sweet Williams Chris grew when he did biennials one year. They were gorgeous, I think they are my favourites, although it is hard to choose.

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Through this hobby we discovered Higgledy Garden. (we didn’t literally discover him, we found him on the internet…) Who is hilarious, has excellent quality seeds, is a mine of information and always includes a hand written letter (he also has lovely handwriting :D). He’s really interesting, he currently lives on a canal boat with his dog. If you’re going to buy seeds he is definitely worth taking a look at.

If we are to grow flowers (and produce fruit and veg) in the North of Scotland, we will probably have to buy a polycrub. They’re like a really really tough polytunnel, made to withstand the winds I think. They make them out of recycled salmon pipe and are based in Shetland, which will be handy if we move there!

 

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(Picture taken from the nortenergy website)

Can’t wait!

Waiting and wondering..

I feel sad today, for a reason, a valid reason, but still sad, and it affects me with people close to me if I’m not careful so I need to watch myself because I can start taking it out in an angry way on them. And that’s not acceptable. Although it’s okay to be sad, I need to process it properly and also be loving. Emotions are normal, I sometimes think I need to stop them I think, but no, just handle them in a good way (whatever that is, I’m still learning). I read a while ago that children need you to be a wall, so they run into you and you don’t move. I try, but don’t always manage it!

Anyway, I am also happy, just because I’m here and have a family and friends and more than that, God. He is my loving, beautiful father in heaven who is always here and is in charge. No matter how much we think we are in charge…we aren’t. Although we do have a big role to play in partnering with God too, He rules. HE IS THE LIGHT WHO SHINES IN THE DARKNESS, AND THE DARKNESS HAS NOT OVERCOME IT. and will NEVER overcome it. (Sorry about the shouting).

In other news…although until Chris has viewed the Croft we won’t know if it is right for us, it feels as though we are just waiting now. We need to know costs, so I’m waiting for a quote from a moving company in Shetland, because if we can’t afford them, we will have to sell most of our stuff and go up in a van. I’m also waiting for a Shetland solicitor to quote us. Because we are looking to buy in Scotland we need an English solicitor for the selling and a Scottish solicitor for the buying. The system is also different in Scotland, the solicitor is usually the one who puts the offers in for you, and it is often sealed bids with details such as when you expect to move, how you are paying etc. It is usually offers over too, rather than offers around, I think if you offered what we offer in this country, 20/30,000 less than the asking price, you’d get laughed out.  I actually think their system is really good. If there is more than one person interested a closing date is set and sealed offers go in for the owners to look at. It seems really fair. Each home has also got a home buyers report already done, so that is really good.

I have to admit I am a very impulsive person, and I keep having to check myself, because I keep thinking just put an offer in!! Although we’ve never been and haven’t seen it. So, Chris and his dad are off up there next week and we will know then. Chris was on his way home from work the other day and the registration plate in front of him spelt out the name of the island we are interested in moving to. (which was interesting, because that was similar to the ‘fleece’ I laid out for God, when I was asking whether it was right to go). Guess we will know next week. That’s also providing our survey on this house goes well and the sale goes through. It’s in God’s hands (said in an American accent).

 

 

 

This is church!

When we leave, one of the reasons I will be sad to go will be to leave our church.  (CITP) They are nuts in the best possible way (forgive me, (you have to). God always puts together a load of people who are completely different from one another and would never normally spend time with each other and makes them family together.

This is them at our wedding (also with our own family, who are also pretty cool, my mum and dad are standing next to me):

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These are our elders at the recent catalyst festival (click on the following link for YouTube video), (CITP elders) Note the use of team work and willingness to take instruction from the younger members. Notice the rhythm and dance moves!!! Notice the resignation that this is what is required of them and their grace as they get their groove on 😬.  Also notice that at least one of them is really enjoying it! They are brilliant.

Seriously, church is awesome, because of Jesus. I know that this is not everybody’s experience of church and I’m really really sorry if you have had bad experiences but church is meant to be goooooood. It will always be hard work in some way because there’s so many people thrown together, but take it from me, it’s worth it. When I’m getting fed up I always have to remind myself that we’re all human, only Jesus is perfect and through Him we can always check ourselves,  forgive if necessary and move on! Also, it’s family and families are hard work! But definitely worthwhile. This family have been there for me and plenty of others through thick and thin. They do awesome work in the community and with our new church building they will be able to do a whole lot more. They don’t just talk the talk, they walk the walk too.

Did you know that the church is the people, not the building? That Jesus gave himself up for her (the church, his people) so she may be holy and without blemish (that’s us)? That He nourishes and cherishes the church? (Again, us) (Ephesians 5:25-29). And wants to nourish and cherish you? My perception of it used to be so wrong it was unreal. I thought all church people were up themselves, self righteous a..holes. Now look at me! Look at where God’s put us! In fact, don’t look at me, look at God!

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Well that was nearly 5 years ago, but you get the picture!

 

Thank you God for loving me, thank you God for loving me..and you…

 

Communication..Express yourself…

As a little aside, I’ve been thinking about communication.  I’ve discovered I can often communicate and express myself far better in writing than I can in person.  Don’t get me wrong, I can express myself verbally and non verbally….sometimes too forcefully, other times not enough… But I find it so much easier when writing.

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I’ve decided that this may in part be due to our expectations when conversing and of not being listened to or heard.. I don’t think we often let others express themselves properly. We try to correct and almost try to change what they think or are saying before we’ve listened to them and this in turn can stop people from being able to express themselves verbally and knowing they are being heard.

Although I suppose this may also encourage the development of other gifts, and ways of expression and creativity. With no challenges, few things develop… Also, I suppose that is part of why I love writing, no-one can really shut you up, it’s your writing with no interruptions. I am able to sort my head out without interruption.

When I’m with people, I really really do not want to do the superficial thing of  gazing intently into someone’s eyes as if they’re the most interesting person ever  whilst not listening at all.

I have never felt that God has told me to shut up or cut me off mid sentence. He has quieted me and told me to stop or slow down, but he is always there and listens carefully without looking over my shoulder for the next person to talk to and without thinking what he is getting from the shop later. But then again, He is God and present everywhere all the time, yet able to be with me one to one and care about me and see me. I am not a blurred face in a crowd, I am known personally and loved by almighty God and so are you.

I do also realise we are all different and express ourselves differently and for some, writing or other forms of communication for example art or music, are their lifeline, expression and a God given gift, it doesn’t have to be verbal. For me, I love writing and doodling, it charges me up and is therapeutic, but I do think we can all help in person by just listening, not correcting, at least not to start with and by valuing each and every person and just being with them. (this is not intended as a lecture, just me trying to put my thoughts in order). Also, wouldn’t we know others so much better if we just listened to them? I want to know people properly, not superficially (This does NOT mean I want to know all your secrets! well, unless you want to tell them)

This sums it up really:

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger (James 1:19) 

Enough said for now.

Over and out.

 

We’ve accepted an offer!

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our beautiful garden

So we have today accepted an offer on our home. It’s a cash offer too so it could potentially go through quite quickly providing no major problems pop up along the way..REALLY hoping this. Please may there be nothing major…

Mixed emotions…

Excited for the future and our journey and what God has in store and also know it’s time to move on. But this has also been my home for the past 13 years, the first 8 were just me and my daughter doing life together. It was our safe place, we’d moved around quite a few different houses and this was the one Tasha said she didn’t want to leave. When I first started nursing, I used to do a week of nights once a month and so she had to virtually live somewhere else for a week every month and she started to hate it.  She wanted some stability I think. So we moved here when she was ten and I went on the district rather than doing hospital nursing. It seems so long ago, but it’s not really. So much has changed in that time. I made so many mistakes, we had some rough times but we also had some lovely times. I really love my daughter, she lives in London now and I am very proud of her. She cares about justice, she always has, since being a little girl. She’s incredibly talented and vulnerable and raw.

I was saved in this house, when I was 34, ten years ago.   So I was healed from alcoholism and smoking here, amongst other things, by Jesus.

Tasha grew up here, she worked hard and worried me by going out on midnight walks when she was an older teenager. I confused Tasha here by being saved, she got good marks despite having pink hair (and me being saved 😁) and went to Uni in London to study Art, a month before Chris and I got married. She did amazingly well at uni and is now doing her masters.

I was in terrible debt here, debt which got paid off thanks to CAP. CAP do amazing work. The debt was paid off about a month or so before getting married. That was a prayer answered, we did not want to go into marriage in debt and we didn’t.

Chris and I met whilst I was here and got married, we didn’t move in together until after we were married. That is a miracle in itself given our backgrounds. God changes us so much and so much for the better. He makes us new.

We had a miscarriage here, a miscarriage I didn’t understand, I felt in full faith for God to restore the beating heart in my womb, for it to show up on the second scan a week after losing the baby. But he didn’t. But he did heal me, heal my womb and give us more babies.

I gave up my nursing here, I gave it up to look after my babies, Because being there with them and for them is really important to me, especially after doing my nurse training whilst Tasha was little, I later felt like her childhood was far too rushed – got to get here, got to get there. But I also gave it up because although I loved actual nursing, I was sick of the rubbish associated with it and burnt out. I didn’t want to go back but am now starting to feel almost ready… Not quite though… It’s a while before Ira goes to school.

I gave birth to my first boy at home by accident because I didn’t get to the hospital in time. We didn’t even get out of the front door. It was great and very very special. We got to stay at home. (I say by accident, I originally wanted a home birth and was persuaded otherwise, so thanks God for giving us what we had asked for 🙂 )

I gave birth to my second boy here, in a planned home birth. Not one the midwives were keen on because of my age and because they thought he was a big baby.  It was fast and he was born well but I worried the neighbours because i was taken into hospital in an ambulance for monitoring because of blood loss. It was very exciting for me – I think I was high on hormones.

We got an allotment here, which was a God thing… I asked God what I should do and He said get an allotment, we got our chickens here – which I have loved.

So!! You get the picture… A lot of stuff has happened, much much more than I’ve put here…God has done absolutely loads of good stuff in my/our lives. Rubbish has also happened but that is not of God. I have screamed at Him here, cried with Him, begged Him for help here, laughed, worshipped, got rid of demons here. Came to life here!!!!  Learnt from Him (or not) here.

But it is time to leave. It’s time for us to bless this place and move on. Memories intact. And all our family will always have a place with us wherever we live. That includes George, Chris’ eldest son as well as Tash. Love you Tash.

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sorry/not sorry. Love these pictures. Byeeeeeeeeee for now.

Welcome to our blog!

This is and will be our family’s story of moving to Ireland, from Derbyshire, and everything that goes with it, amongst other thoughts and stories. *This is our original welcome page, I’ve now done a new one on 5/6/19.

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If you go back to the start of our blog and read, we give our stories so far, our God testimonies and various ponderings. We hope you enjoy this. I (Cathy) have found through this a rediscovered love of words, the word and writing, I love it. I also love interacting with people so please feel free to comment, message, ask questions or just read!

The following scripture is from Revelation 3:20 and reveals what Jesus heart is like:

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.

This is what he did and does with us and it is what I pray everyone entering this site discovers. He is the best, the most exciting, the one and only God, the reason why we are all here, the reason for living.

Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!

Contentment

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I had an experience last night.  I was sat in the living room looking through into the kitchen and was looking at and listening to the washing machine. I felt contentment, I felt peace, I felt security. I then realised I hadn’t felt content for quite a while in a lot of ways. Strange that a washing machine made me realise that, but God works through everything.  Also, I can remember lying in bed in a morning when I was a child and hearing my mum in the kitchen doing the washing and various other things and feeling very content and secure whilst listening to this, so maybe that is what also sparked that feeling and realisation.

So what does this mean?

It means I realised I’d been wanting something more than I’d got for some reason.  It means I have been discontented and I don’t even know with what, just life, which is ridiculous.

Sitting there yesterday evening watching the washing machine, I started to think and try to remember what Paul (in the bible) said about learning to be content in all circumstances and I’ve had to look it up. So here it is, Philippians 4:11-13 (ESV):

 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.  I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

So there it is…I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Not through my own power or even through things happening to me, obtaining things or doing things, but through Jesus and through His spirit. This was also spoken about in our church meeting this morning about in our weakness He is strong.

This is the bit: 2 Corinthians 12:9-10:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

It doesn’t come easy to me to boast of weaknesses, at the moment I tend to be a bit defensive, but if it means Christ’s power will then be with me and in me and I will function through Him and in his strength. Bring it on! I don’t have to be perfect, that’s the bit that Jesus did. And does. And will do. So Lord! I cannot do this life without you. We need you in everything and in every way and I hope and pray that others come to know you like this.

This looks like contentment to me, our boy at a couple of months and again this week at the age of three. Gorgeous.

Oh and it is looking like we’ve probably sold our house….watch this space…eeeek..

 

Nagging toddlers and persistent widows

Having previously mentioned that I found our church festival challenging, I’ve been thinking, and prompted by a statement by Chris that he’s been pestering our daddy God like our three year old, found I needed to write.

I didn’t just find the festival difficult, life can be quite difficult I find with a toddler (as well as wonderful) Every parent in the world probably agrees. However, recently it has been specifically so. Our toddler has started repeating himself whenever he wants something, especially if we have told him he cannot have it. It feels like a form of torture.

One example is, I DO want it, I DO want it, I NEED it, I NEED it, I NEED it, I NEED it, I NEED it, I NEED it, I WANT IT, I WANT IT, I WANT IT, I WANT IT, I WANT IT, I WANT IT, I WANT IT… I need the television on mummy, I need the television on mummy, I need the television on mummy, I need icecream, I need icecream, I need icecream, I need icecream, I need icecream, “not for breakfast, we don’t have icecream for breakfast” but I NEEEED it, I need it, I need it, I need it, I need carry, I need carry, I need carry, I need carry, I need carry, I need carry, I need carry, I need carry, I need carry….play with me, play with me, play with me, play with me,play with me, play with me…this is an extremely shortened, restricted version of it and only one example of his persistence, it is a very effective technique for wearing someone down. He is persistent and tenacious and although annoying and very difficult for us, we feel this is probably actually a gift, not a burden. A couple of our friends have also said this. My problem is actually responding calmly rather than blowing up and also sticking to my guns when required!

Chris said the other day that it reminds him of the parable of the persistent widow, this is the ESV (English Standard Version) of Luke 18:1-8:

And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart.  He said, “In a certain city there was a judge who neither feared God nor respected man.  And there was a widow in that city who kept coming to him and saying, ‘Give me justice against my adversary.’  For a while he refused, but afterward he said to himself, ‘Though I neither fear God nor respect man,  yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will give her justice, so that she will not beat me down by her continual coming.’”  And the Lord said, “Hear what the unrighteous judge says.  And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?”

So! there is a lesson in there with our nagging, annoying toddler who is also wonderfully comical and funny and serious, standing there with his hands on his hips telling me to stop talking or to get off my computer,or demanding another story or food or milk or attention or to play with him.

God asks us to pray persistently, to cry out to him, to keep going, to pester him! As Heidi Baker said in her talk on Sunday at our Catalyst festival, God loves to play with his kids. And I can learn a lot through our challenging toddler. A lot more than I have written here!

What would happen if we really prayed? and prayed? and prayed? and prayed? what would happen if we spent quality time with God, got to know Him more, if we LOVED spending time with Him. This is my aim for this year again.

“Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37.4)

He also changes the desires of our hearts… Oh Lord, I delight in you, I love you, thank you for everything, thank you for the fact that Jesus lived the life we cannot live, died the death we deserve and rose again from the dead to give us back our relationship with God and to give us eternal life. Thank you that with you death is defeated and we rise with you into the lives we should have had originally and come to know you, our maker, our reason for living, our everything.

Finally, one of my favourite parts of the bible, the beginning of John, (John 1:1-5 ESV) I find it really dramatic, I can almost see the words going up on a screen at the start of an epic adventure film:

In the beginning was the Word,

and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 

He was in the beginning with God. 

All things were made through him,

and without him was not any thing made that was made. 

In him was life, and the life was the light of men. 

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

 

Jesus is the answer to everything!

My posts are like buses, nothing for ages, then a load at once….

 

 

Update..

I think it’s been a week since I last wrote anything, it seems more like a month. We’ve been camping at our church group’s festival at Stoneleigh and I both loved and hated it. Both children were poorly whilst we were there, our three year old decided sleeping wasn’t for him, well, definitely not in the tent and the baby had quite a temperature and I was really worried at times. However, it also showed me what an awesome family God places us in when we let Him and the love and care and company we’ve had whilst we’ve been there has been awe inspiring. Going to these things is so different when you’re married and have little ones. I went to the first one 5 years ago, 5 months before I got married and at that time I was able to just do whatever I wanted and be fully involved. So things have changed but I don’t think for the worse, I think they’re different and God has worked in us and spoken to us despite not being able to concentrate on preaches or worship. We have to remember He isn’t constrained by anything, He is God. We just think we are constrained, when we actually have Jesus living in us and He can do anything.

In relation to our house we’d had a lull for a week in regard to viewings. However! since Tuesday, it’s gone mad. Quite a few seem promising, and have been back for second and one even a third look. Although I am learning you cannot often tell what people actually think from what they are like when they’re with you. I always thought I was good at reading people, turns out I’m not that good.  The croft we first saw on Shetland is still on the market, we thought we’d lost out as a closing date was set, however, there were no offers so we may be back on!

It is quite exciting, Chris is travelling out in a couple of weeks with his dad to view the croft. They’re going to drive up to Aberdeen, get the overnight Northlink ferry to Lerwick, drive to see the house and croft and then drive back to Lerwick to again get the overnight ferry back to Aberdeen. I LOVE the sound of doing this, but it just wasn’t practical for me to do it. So Chris has got the privilege. I’ll try and get him to take photographs to put up on here. I rang the owner of the croft to book the viewing, he has such a beautiful voice! and I could understand him which is always a bonus.

We are also going out to the Orkney’s fairly soon for a family holiday and to look at ‘properties’, I am so looking forward to taking the journey there, we love the ferries, it is so exciting travelling there, first from Scotland to mainland Orkney and then from Kirkwall in Orkney to Sanday. We’re looking forward to seeing the difference in the landscape and wildlife from April which is when we last went to now and also the difference in weather and light! Also looking forward to a bit of a break maybe.

Haha – in relation to potentially becoming crofters, I’ve been reading this morning about butchery, tanning sheep hides and spinning your own wool. More to come on that possibly….:D stoneleigh

over and out!

Cathy

You know what??…

You know what…I really don’t like getting feedback about my house….The feeling I get when my phone beeps and it says I have new feedback to review is that sinking gut feeling. What now??…What isn’t good enough now…

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The simple truth is, most of the feedback has actually been ok, fairly nice really I suppose..(most anyway) and I suppose my reaction says a lot about my mindset rather than anything else. It’s just what we are selling is a small terrace, it is three bedroom, but one is a box room. It is a simple cottage style terrace, which I think is really nice. It has a gorgeous garden which Chris overhauled completely (and did a fantastic job). It has a small enclosed yard on the front. It doesn’t have any structural problems as far as we are aware. However, it just doesn’t seem to be good enough. Two of the bedrooms have rough walls as I removed woodchip quite a while ago and the carpets could do with replacing. To me, this is fairly minor, we’ve lived in it like this for a long time and it is easily remedied really. We’ve done the other rooms, so to me, again, this is good, two upstairs rooms is a project for the new owners – they can make it their own. Unfortunately, this is not how most seem to view houses now…perfection seems to be required…even on a cheap (ish) house. Although I suppose if you are buying in this price range you probably don’t have much money to spend on overhauling anything. Although that may be an assumption. I actually think this is what a lot of us expect nowadays – perfection, no work to do, ease, and if it isn’t like that we are appalled! haha.

It does have to be said, we do live a little differently, we don’t have central heating. We have two multifuel stoves that we use and it keeps the house reasonably warm. We have two small children and they never seem to be particularly cold. It is more work, it is a little more dusty maybe. But I sort of like that it is different and the work involved is interesting and sort of fun. Although to be fair, Chris does most of the heavy stuff, although I do love axing up a bit of wood, fantastic stress relief. But!!! I completely get why people want central heating, so…why don’t they just get it put in if they like the house? why is it a big deal? why does everything seem to be a big deal nowadays?

It is not that long ago that most houses did not have central heating, in fact, it is not that long ago that we didn’t even have “video recorders” (:D) or even telephones in houses, never mind mobile phones and internet. Apparently we all like “mod cons” – what are mod cons?? I’m not sure what people really like and I’m not sure the estate agents have got it right. For instance, only putting the good photographs up on the advert to get people in. I think, be honest, it is a complete waste of time getting people into your house if they think they’re getting perfection and they aren’t. You know what maybe this is out of context but Jesus came as the light and exposes everything kept in the darkness. I don’t really believe in keeping things in the dark or in lying about anything and this approach sort of makes me uncomfortable. I’m sure it will sell, I trust God with our lives and am excited and as I said before, love meeting all these different people and having them cross the threshold when they are coming to view. But I just think there’s such a lot of rubbish spoken in relation to selling your home. A personal hatred of mine is calling a room “a good space” and a house “a property”. Be real…

Another bug bear is when I’m having the viewings, I feel like I need to make the house almost like no-one is living here! Which is difficult. It is clean, clean, clean, tidy, tidy, tidy, almost making it look sterile to me, and that is not homey. Don’t people want homes? Have I got it wrong? I don’t know! But when you read the advice on making your home likely to sell, a lot of it again, seems to me like superficial stuff designed to fool people into thinking they need your house. As it has been said, we just need someone to come and fall in love with the place as I did when I visited 13 years ago. I just knew it was the right one, it was mainly the garden that did it, but I just knew I wanted it. So here’s praying someone will want it and love it like I have done. It’s not perfect, it needs a fair bit of decor sorting, but it’s got character, it is a home, it is very peaceful despite all the mayhem of family life.

My prayer is that anyone coming into this house will meet God in all his glory. I was born again in this house, in the bedroom. My two boys were born in this house, home births that I fought for in a world that seems terrified of any risk. So more new births in this place would be good. Lord, bless anyone entering this home, may they be born again into new life, your goodness and your love. And work in me, so I can love them and not rant too much.

Amen! so endeth the rant.

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