Project veg plot

I have a project! The area of raised ground behind the house is just about dry enough to sort out for our veg plot (with a few flowers thrown in for good measure). So I’ve started edging and digging the beds and planning it out. I love doing it. Especially planning and deciding where to put the paths and beds and what will go where.

A before (ish) photo, not quite the same view as the next:

and a current photo:

It is so satisfying, just doing a bit at a time. It has to be a bit really, I have to wait for littlest’s nap time, then I try to do the digging. The top bit in front of the shed is where I’m at at the moment:

still about half a bed to dig, there’s some big stones in there. When I can get them out they get thrown down the bank, there’s one so far that I can’t shift, so I think I’ll stick another on top and leave it there so I can see where it is and don’t do a clang a spade down on it thing and reverberate. I’m hoping to get potatoes in here over the next week but it’s still fairly claggy, so we’ll see.

This is the other side:

To the far left as you look at the raised area we are hoping to put up a poly tunnel. Either this year or next, we aren’t sure yet. There’s so many roots and branches to clear, but it’s good fun.

I’ve felt a bit low recently and being outside, being active and gardening are things I really enjoy and they charge me up. I asked God what to do about how I was feeling earlier in the week and amongst other things I felt he said to get outside. He also gave me this verse:

Matthew 6:25

Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 

I need to trust him.

also, we have pots everywhere! I love it! Seeds are germinating all over the house 😍

these are cornflowers, blackball and blue ball. Hopefully we’ll pick the right spot for them once they’re a bit bigger and they’ll flourish!

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No condemnation

The bible tells us that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. No condemnation. None! But I know I often/usually do not live like this. So I’ve started a bible study through you version on it and am talking to God, doodling ideas and thoughts and generally asking God’s spirit to show me the truth.

I think through past stuff, things that have happened, things I’ve done I still hold onto feeling worthless when In fact the opposite is true, because of Jesus.

The Holy Spirit cleanses us from all unrighteousness and although we still do sin, in the bible study it pointed something out I’ve never thought of before – we now hate the sin, even though we may still do it. Isn’t that a gift!!!?? Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. Haha.

In other news, our littlest is now sleeping in his cot and It’s going fairly well. And he can now climb stairs and onto the settee. Nothing is safe any more! He climbed on this morning because his brother was sat there eating a banana and J then shared it with him. Which was nice!

I love these little parts of life. Watching them change and grow. Finding things out, learning things. It happens so fast at this age too. Life is most definitely a miracle.

Why do I find being nice so difficult?

I do.

I confess.

I often find being ‘nice’ difficult. I get irritated and/or impatient and want to correct people, interrupt, or even just leave. Why??!! Other times, not a problem, patience unlimited… (This confession feels a little out there, and if you don’t like soul bearing please stop reading now! but I am telling myself it isn’t just me that feels like this ;))

I am asking God why. I’m sure there are many reasons…

Because I sometimes feel bad about myself or I haven’t identified why I’m upset or irritated and take it out on people. It’s when my identity is confused and I almost step back in time and become like the old Cathy, where bitching and being hard, putting others down and not caring about things was my protection, my shell. If you’re hard and don’t care you fool yourself that things don’t or won’t hurt and you can actually almost fool yourself into believing you don’t care and that the most important thing is to look after number 1 (and family) and that is it. Other people are never (or rarely) for you and cannot be trusted, so get in there first…. it’s when my priorities are mixed up or when I’m plain old tired.

Also, I hate fakeness and it feels fake to be nice when I’m not feeling it. But if I look at others as God’s creations and the precious beings that they are, then surely that should change? I am quite sure it will.

The fact is I get so hurt sometimes it’s unreal. Especially if I have trusted someone and I feel they’ve let me down or deliberately said something to hurt me, or if I think they’ve spoken behind my back. That’s a real deal breaker with me I’m afraid.

But you see, I know that is wrong… other people’s responses are not my responsibility. My response is. My attitude is.

I am called to love, to forgive, to proclaim the love of God and his salvation. To bring healing, to keep peace, to have mercy and show grace. That is who I am. A warrior for God. A peacemaker and healer. A restorer. A worshipper of Jesus. And that is what I will do, by the power of God in me. My mission, should I choose to accept it is to glorify God and show him to others so they can know his goodness and love for themselves. My mission is to keep looking at him and him alone.

He is good. I need to remember he didn’t choose me because of any qualities he put in me… He chose me because it is not his wish that any should perish. He chose me because HE is good, not me. But I now have the ability because of this to live my life differently. Just like you do if you accept him as your saviour. I didn’t go to our church on Sunday, but I did listen to the preach online – which was along these lines… and I feel that God really spoke to me through it.

I choose God. I choose to follow him. I choose to overrule my pride and hurt feelings, difficult though this may be, to follow him and I choose to do what is right. Well, after a little internal struggle maybe…but he usually works it out in me…although sometimes a situation feels impossible and I feel almost paralysed to do anything about it…he works in me/us for good.

And everything is fine…even good, even joyeous!

 

 

 

 

 

My brain is tired today…

No news on the move at the mo, I think it is in the middle stage of not much seeming to be happening, but it is. Waiting! again! It will be worth it though. I want to make the most of our time every day though. I don’t always, but I want to! This was part of the weekend:

 

My first ever quiche! had a bit of a soggy bottom haha but it was nice, I used to call it “christian food” years ago, because everything you turned up to had quiche, But I’ve since come to really like it 😀

Things feel stressful at the moment and quite serious quite a lot of the time so I just want to concentrate on good today. I took the boys and dog to a reservoir called Linacre on Saturday and we went back again on Sunday afternoon with Chris, it was lovely.  Even better to Mr Toddler (and me) because there is an ice cream van in the car park.  Chris took me to Linacre for our second ever date. I can remember it being a really bright, sunny day despite it being March. He was just the same then, I am one for standing and looking and inhaling and taking it all in, soaking it up. Staying in one place for a while, exploring, chatting or just looking. Chris is all action, lets be off then, lets be doing things. Both have good points and bad points, we both have to compromise sometimes.

The easiest way of taking the boys and the dog for a walk  is to carry the baby on my back. It gets a bit hot sometimes but I love it, he is so close. I think he loves it too, he sits there, looking around at everything, taking it all in.

It won’t be long until he is walking. I love this stage, where you can still sit with them, inhaling their baby goodness. They still sit with you and cuddle. It is still good when they get older, but not as easy. (to me, anyway).

Anyway, I’m really tired today, both boys ended up in bed with me, which is nice but not particularly comfortable, so we are going to wait until the baby wakes from his nap and then go out somewhere. Preferably in the country.

Hopefully have more news on the move soon!

See ya.

Cathy

 

 

 

 

last post until Monday – healing

It occurred to me today that I’ve lost my focus a bit in regards to taking opportunities given to me by God. Specifically opportunities to pray for people and declare healing over them.

And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.” (Mark 16:17-18)

selective focus photography of child s hand on person s palm
Photo by Juan Pablo Arenas on Pexels.com

The reason it occurred to me was I’d just taken the dog out with the kids around a local reservoir and in the car park I was sat in the car, another one pulled up with a couple in it and I gave them my parking ticket because there was time left on it. I believe I then missed/did not take a God opportunity that was given me. The man was with his wife and he said at least twice, we are only here briefly to have a look around, we can’t go far because my wife has a dodgy knee. Immediately, “pray” popped into my mind, but instead there was an awkward silence and I said well it is very nice here  and then reversed out and left. Driving up the lane, I knew I should have prayed for her and I nearly went back and again didn’t….

It then occurred to me that I used to look for every opportunity to pray for people, especially for healing and that I hadn’t done this as part of my normal everyday life for quite a while – apart from at home with the children. Don’t get me wrong, this is not a self condemning, “I’m so baaaad” post, it is an observation that I believe the Holy Spirit highlighted to me and is such an opportunity.

So I am going to include any testimonies of prayer, God moving, people being prayed for or not and healings as part of this blog. I am praying and asking now for more opportunities in this area as part of our everyday lives. I love the part where the scripture says “you will lay hands on the sick and they will recover” it says they “will” recover and also it says “recover” and that means they will not always be instantaneously healed on that occasion.

Recovery is an act of restoration, something that Jesus is very good at. If you are sick today, ask him to help you. Also, myself or Chris would love to pray with you or for you. Feel free to post pray requests or message them.

If you read the New Testament there are multiple accounts of Jesus healing the sick and also in my own life since being saved by Jesus I have seen people healed including myself. I would also LOVE people to post in the comments testimonies of their own healing through God.

in my own life – I have had my womb healed and since had two babies, prior to this I had a miscarriage and I do believe there was something wrong with my womb which caused this.

My husband Chris had such a bad back he could hardly bend or move on occasions when I first met him, he was healed, suddenly, without any prayer at all. I had been talking about healing to him the day before and then his back was healed the next day.

I have a friend who was healed from extensive cancer with secondaries.

I have seen someone who could only walk with severe pain then run down the aisle and jump and clap his feet together.

But….I would like to see more…..

The greatest healing of all is actually the gift of salvation, in which healing in every way takes place and you are reunited with God through Jesus sacrifice and resurrection. However, God obviously, (when you read scripture) also wants to heal people from illness and disease. I also know that healing does not always take place, not healing that we see, but I trust God in this and it does not detract from the love and power of God, it just means we do not understand how the big picture works.

There is so much you can say on this subject, it is a massive thing and when you start looking into it there are debates about it, ways recommended of doing it, petitional prayer vs commanding the illness or whatever it is to leave, but I want to keep it simple and just be prompted by the Holy Spirit (God) on how to pray and what to pray for.

I have been fascinated by God healing people for a few years or so now, as a nurse I used to pray when I was dressing wounds, looking after people with terminal illness etc, not always with them knowing, often very quietly, occasionally with them. There was one occasion when I was dressing someone’s leg, she had very extensive skin loss/ulceration to both lower legs and her bed bound husband suddenly sat bolt upright and started singing Abide with me really well and really loudly. It was great.

I love looking at something, say a wound and knowing that God can recreate skin and flesh and make the area new, just at a word. That he can rebuild and renew people, that he can heal anything and anyone, that he can and does cure cancer. I also know (as I have already mentioned) that not everyone gets healed but that God is still good and still wants you to know him.

 

Get fit Saturday…am I ready for this???…HIIT???! What is that anyway!?!

I went on a diet earlier in the year, I’d slowly put a lot of weight on over the past few years – ya know, marriage, babies, loving eating in general… In fact, my husband and I both dieted and both lost around two stone but I still needed to lose some more.

The weight has been slowly going back on because I’ve been eating a lot of rubbish again so I decided last night I was going to eat healthier but also do training in the comfort of our own home, so I searched on youTube and found this absolute beginners HIIT workout and did it this morning. Mr toddler ran around crawling under my legs and laughing a lot and the baby napped.  It’s quite difficult to do the exercises with a toddler clamped onto your leg, funny though.  Chris has gone out today otherwise I might have tried to recruit him but I think it is doubtful that he would have done it. He probably would have found it most amusing…

I really, really want to be fit and healthy, partly because it will probably make me live longer, and as an older mum I want to see my kids for as long as possible. But I also know that living healthily does give you better quality of life and more energy. I also think it honours God, far more than sitting at home eating crisps does (which is a favourite activity of mine).

It has also been on my mind that are bodies are fearfully and wonderfully made with abilities that I certainly don’t fulfil or push my body to do. Our bodies are a masterpiece of creativity!

I WANT TO HAVE ENERGY AGAIN!!

 

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 

 

yay!!

I don’t want to do it to look ‘fit’ haha and attract loads of men (probably good seeing as I’m married). Although looking fit is always a nice bonus…

I don’t want to do it as a way of making myself ‘feel’ better as such or make things right, because only Jesus does that.

But I do want to do it to improve my health and be more energetic, I do want to lose weight! I do want to push my body to do what it is created to do!

This is different to ten years ago, I found a diary entry that read something like “if I can lose weight and get fit and stop drinking and smoking then everything will be right and sorted…” NEWS – No it won’t. But it is still good to do.

so yes, back to the point, this was us this morning:

 

Flattering!

It is debatable whether I will continue, I never have in the past, but I’d like to! I just find it a bit boring, I prefer things like walking and gardening and I think if I could actually skateboard I’d like that too, haha (it looks quite exciting) or I’d quite like a scooter, they look fun. I am going to try to keep going though, it was a good, simple workout, he also has very nice hair.

Signing out for now.

Au revoir!